frogg files

"She could never be a saint, but she thought she could be a martyr if they killed her quick." --Flannery O' Connor

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Off to Minnesota

Why do I always seem to get really early morning flights when I go anywhere?

So my flight is at 7am, meaning I have to leave my house by about 5:15am to get to the airport in time to wait in all the lines, meaning I had to set my alarm for 4:30am so I'd have time to do last-minute packing which I didn't quite finish last night due to being utterly exhausted from snowboarding, meaning that I actually woke up at about 3:30am because I was worried that I would sleep through the alarm clock because I was so tired.

All of which meaning that right now I am existing on a level of consciousness somewhere between zombie and, I don't know, death I guess.

I am not sure if I'm done packing, but I'm not sure anymore whether or not I care.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Men and Margaritas

Tonight was Taco Tuesday night at Pepe's, which means tacos are $1.25...not a bad deal. And the margaritas are sensational. (A little TOO sensational, actually.)

I went with one of my good girlfriends and spent the night talking about men and how impossible it is to understand them. For example, I can't count how many times I've been told 1) that I'm amazing, 2) that I'm beautiful, 3) that I am an awesome woman of God, and 4) that I'll make some man really happy someday. The fact is, I'm a little tired of hearing it. I mean, honestly...if I'm so great and wonderful and all, um...why am I still single? Come on guys. What's the problem? Do I need to turn cartwheels and balance a ball on the end of my nose to make the final cut?? Is that what I've been missing all these years?

Maybe it's my lack of cooking skills.

Thankfully, before my girlfriend and I could get too bitter about men, a nice one showed up who bought us a round of the aforementioned sensational margaritas (thanks Morgan!).

On another note, I'll be hitting the slopes tomorrow, amen and hallelujah! Toward the end of 2004, I really prayed that I'd manage to snowboard at least three times this season, and this will be my fourth time! So I'm pretty stoked that I got even more than I asked for. God has a tendency to be generous like that.

Well, I'd best hit the hay, 'twill be an early start tomorrow. And then I have to pack for Minnesota still! Hmmm. Nothing like doing things at the last minute, eh.

Ode to Gap Fitting Rooms

Went shopping today, which is not my favorite activity as a rule. However, I have to give props to the Gap for having the best dressing-room lighting EVER...going there really put me in a good mood today. I wish I could somehow package that light and carry it around with me, like in a little lamp that would hover perpetually over my head as I went around town. I look pretty fantastic underneath it, almost model-esque really--and that's even on a "fat day." Forget dieting...just get a dose of some Gap lighting! It will do the trick with a lot less sweat and starvation.

Not only did I get the benefit of seeing myself as the Gap mirrors do (oo-la-la), but I even accomplished my purpose for the shopping trip, which was to find a nice sweater to wear to this wedding on Saturday. Usually (and this is why I hate shopping) I drive around and visit a bunch of different stores, not finding what I'm looking for, and getting more and more cranky until finally I give up and go home in a huff.

Thankfully today's experience ended on the happy note of actually finding what I was looking for! Not to mention buying a few other nice things, which I actually look rather stunning in--at least, when I'm standing under Gap lighting.

Monday, March 28, 2005


Well, it's Monday and a gray one at that. The sun keeps making efforts to break through the clouds, but with dubious success. Hopefully that means snow on the mountains though, because I think it is time for another snowboarding adventure, before heading off to the frozen wastes of Minnesota on Thursday...someone told me that last week it was 3 degrees Fahrenheit out there. I was appalled...I have no clothes that would be appropriate for a cold-weather afternoon wedding/evening reception!!!! I suppose I could always show up in my snowboarding gear; wouldn't be the best fashion statement but at least I'd be warm.

The cowgirl came home last night, and will be leaving this morning, taking the dog with her. He is asleep here in my room as I type this, and I have to say I am going to miss him alot.

Annoyingly, she is not taking Leo with her yet...she has no room in her car for his cage. I am a little angry about this. The only animals left around the place are the ones I can't stand: my brother's cat (who has decided she doesn't need to be house-trained anymore) and this horrible screaming cockatiel. Great.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Sometimes Someone Else Says It Better

Jesus, I know I don't say it often enough...but thanks. For everything.

O Love that will not let me go
I rest my weary soul in Thee
And give Thee back the life I owe
That in Thine ocean's depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O Light that followest all my way
I yield my flick'ring torch to Thee
My heart restores its borrowed ray
That in Thy sunshine's blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain
I cannot hold my heart from Thee
But trace the rainbow through the rain
And feel the promise is not in vain
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head
I dare not ask to fly from Thee
But lay in dust life's glory dead
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.
--George Matheson, 1882

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Anyone Out There?

So I suppose it's my fault, really. I've slacked off on the frequency of my posts, so presumably people have slacked off on reading them. Of course, it's hard to tell...but I've noticed a decided decrease in the number of comments showing up on my blog, and that makes me sad. I like it when people comment. Please do it.

Today one of my co-workers made up a song about me and sang it, while playing a toy guitar. It wasn't very good, but he did make me laugh and that always is worth a few points. And it even rhymed at the end, which was kind of impressive for an off-the-cuff production.

Granted, the song was mostly mocking me for my lack of sales skills, but I guess I'll take what I can get in the serenade department.

I am nearly falling asleep writing this, as I was at work til about 11:15pm last night, so I wouldn't be surprised to hear that I'm not making a whole lot of sense. Humor me.

On a totally unrelated note (are there any other kinds of notes on this blog?), I am watching Four Weddings and a Funeral. I don't understand why Andie MacDowell's character is so alluring in this film. So it's a bit hard for me to get caught up in the drama and romance of her back-and-forth relationship with the ever-blinking, eyelid-fluttering Hugh Grant. Too bad, because it seems like it might have been kind of entertaining otherwise. At least John Hannah is in it. I like his accent.

There really isn't anything else I'd like to say at the moment. I'm wracking my brains, but there is nothing left. Until the next time...

Feelin' Minnesota

I bought a ticket to Minnesota next week.

That is, I bought a ticket yesterday that will get me to Minnesota next week. Geez, the English language can be so confusing if you don't wield it properly.

Anyway, don't worry, I'm not staying there. As tempting as it is to just pick up and hightail it out of LA to somewhere else, Minnesota probably wouldn't be first on my list of places to hightail it to. I don't handle cold very well, and I hear from reliable sources that Minnesota is cold. Very cold, in fact. Too cold for this California chick.

I do like the name Minnesota, though. I especially like saying it with that funny Fargo accent. You know, like this: "Minne-SOOOO-ta," where the SOOOO part sounds like you are almost trying to swallow your tongue at the same time. Try it! (Saying Minne-SOOOO-ta, I mean, not swallowing your tongue.)

So anyway, why am I going? Well, a friend of mine is getting married, and ever since I got news of her engagement, I knew I was meant to be there when she got married. I might not have thought that if she'd decided to have the wedding in, say, South America (which is where she got engaged), but Minnesota isn't too bad. And I don't usually feel that strongly about being at a wedding, so since I did this time, I thought I'd better listen to myself.

I like weddings, even though I am nearing 30 while still single and as such I am probably supposed to be bitter and hate them. I don't though. I wish I got invited to more of them (although my bank account is quite relieved that I don't), and while I admit that I hope to be the actual guest of honor one of these days (i.e., the bride), it's not such a bad thing to be in the audience cheering on a couple of people who have decided that love is a calling in and of itself that is worth following--the call to love and cherish another person for the rest of their lives.

I think that's pretty awesome, don't you?

Monday, March 21, 2005

Take A Bite Out of Reality

A beautiful day today...did a bit of trail running near my house, but I am very out of shape and nearly died. Ok, I exaggerated there just a little, but I did have to use my asthma inhaler about a billion times. Ok, ok...more like four times. That's still a lot!

The POINT is, it was absolutely gorgeous out and I was entirely grateful that I do not, in fact, have a full-time job that would have prevented me from enjoying it.

Apropos of nothing in particular, I am watching the movie Deep Blue Sea at the moment. It is not terribly good. More like just plain terrible, really. But I have to say, it makes Jaws look pretty plain and tame. I mean, how many people get eaten in Jaws?** Like three? I think about 10 people die in this flick, killed directly or indirectly by massive mutant sharks with the brain power of, I don't know, but something very very smart. Smarter than the people in the film, in fact, who just can't seem to stop getting eaten left and right. Even a HELICOPTER succumbs to the cunning ferocity of the sharks!!

But my favorite bit is when one of the mutant sharks uses the body of a guy to break the glass enclosure of the underwater lab, and it did it like this: It swam fast toward the glass window, the guy in its mouth, and then when it was about 20 feet away, it THREW the guy THROUGH THE WATER with enough force that he hit the glass and broke it!!! Amazing, truly amazing, especially when you take into account things like friction, and other matters of underwater physics that I (lowly English major that I am) really have no ability to discuss in anything approaching an intelligent manner.

Anyway, that scene makes me nearly laugh out loud every time. Er, not that I've seen this more than once, or anything...ahem...

The only redeeming feature in this movie is (and this might be a sad commentary in itself): LL Cool J. I know, I know. I SAID it was sad, didn't I?

I really need to get a life.

**Consider this a trivia question. Who knows the answer??

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Long Day

I should say, long week. Because that's what it's been. Long and difficult.

I said goodbye to the cowgirl on Friday. She'll be back for Easter, but it's definitely weird not having her around. The dog misses her too. The day she left it was raining, and I saw him sitting on the driveway, staring at the open gate. He was soaking wet, but didn't seem to notice. She's left before for days at a time, but he seemed to sense that this time was different.

She will take him away after Easter, and then I really don't know what I'll do.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Laziness and Mansquito

I've been horribly slack in keeping up with my frogg files lately, many apologies.

It's not like I even have the excuse of being busy. I work part-time, and on my off hours I am usually slacking off with amazing proficiency. It's nice to know that I'm good at something, even if it's being as lazy as a cat.

However, I am also quite good at vaccuuming. I hate it, but I'm pretty good at it.

Apropos of nothing in particular, I saw a commercial today for a made-for-tv movie called "Mansquito": apparently about a man who mutates into a giant mosquito or something due to a lab accident (of course). A real winner, it sounds like to me. The title alone is...compelling.

Compelling me to puke, that is.

Who comes up with the ideas for these kinds of movies? Why are made-for-tv movies almost always bad? Has anyone ever actually seen one that was good? I ask you.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Just Call Me Doctor Frogg

The cowgirl called me this morning. "Can you do me a favor?" she asked.

"uuhgruh," I said. (I was still in bed.)

"I forgot to give my dog his medicine," she said, ignoring my groans that were meant to signal my desire to stay in bed. "Can you give it to him?"

"I don't know how to give medicine to a dog!" I said, with a remarkable return to coherence.

"It's easy," she said, "You just blah blah blah..." Of course, she didn't say "blah blah blah" but that's mostly what I heard, because I was still in bed, and even though my verbal skills had kicked in, my listening skills were still way behind.

So I said ok when she was done talking, hung up, and went downstairs, where I gave shrieking Leo my routine threats of death and dismemberment if he wouldn't shut up (which he didn't), before picking up the medicine bottles and heading outside. The dog came bounding up to me full of trust and hope that I had come outside to play fetch with him. He was not too pleased when it became clear that a game of fetch, or anything else for that matter, was not on the cards. Instead, he got his jaws forced open, a hand shoved into his mouth, and a big red pill dropped down his throat. This wasn't nearly as much fun for him, I gathered. He made this abundantly clear by clamping his mouth tightly shut and refusing to take the second pill. We had a bit of a struggle over that one, but I eventually won the day. Afterwards I gave him a dog biscuit, and he was happy again.

That's what I like about dogs. They just never stop loving you, even when you do things to them that they really don't like.

I'm going to miss Indy when the cowgirl moves out and takes him away to her new digs. Of course, I'll miss the cowgirl too.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Car Trouble

So the other night I rear-ended a car. No, I'm sorry, that's not entirely accurate. I rear-ended TWO cars. In the space of five minutes. I am not a happy camper.

Ok, this is going to be the first and last time that I ever confess this, so listen up: I am not a particularly good driver. Ok? It's not that I don't know how to drive, or that I don't have plenty of experience. I just tend to get a bit...well, absent-minded I guess is the only word for it. It's especially bad if I am driving somewhere scenic. For example, as I was driving along a back highway out to 580 last week on my way back to Los Angeles, there was this amazing view in the distance of windmills spinning on the far green hills, under gray skies. It was MUCH more interesting to look over there ("there" being "off to my right") rather than anywhere more conventional, like, say, in front of me.

In New Zealand I was even worse. If anyone ever drove with me, I think they would have been petrified, but thankfully I did most of my long-distance driving alone. I'd zip along the winding country roads, leaning forward with my arms hugging the steering wheel so I could gaze upwards at gorgeous sunsets, or perhaps a flock of birds flying, or rising, rugged mountains. Again, the road directly in front of me had a terrible time keeping my attention.

I have had more near-misses than anyone has a right to deserve, I think. And Friday night I had to pay up, I guess.

I didn't have the excuse of gorgeous scenery that time, because I was driving to Hollywood and there is nothing to see along the way but a forest of taillights in the concrete jungle. Traffic was terrible. I was going about 2 miles an hour when I thought I felt an ant crawling on me. This sounds weird, but in fact I had found an ant on me while driving a few days before (which actually is weird in itself, hmmm). So I pulled down my mirror and was trying to check things out when suddenly I realized I had tapped the bumper of the car in front of me.

Thankfully there was no damage to either car and we both decided to just go on our way. I thanked God, shook my head at my idiocy, and got back in the car. Five minutes later (please don't ask me how I could possibly do this, because I honestly don't know), I jammed myself up against the very unforgiving tail of a huge truck. It didn't feel a thing, but oh, my poor little Honda did.

I should say, my SISTER'S poor Honda, because it's not even mine. The layers of irony in this tale are almost too numerous to, well, enumerate, but suffice to say my sister the globetrotter, who is currently in Portugal, lent the car to a friend in the Bay Area who rear-ended someone, and got it fixed in a most haphazard fashion. I have been trying to sort out getting the thing fixed properly with compensation from the friend when what do I do but go and ram another car, causing even more damage and pretty much nullifying my chances of getting the friend to pitch in anything further, because now the damage is MY fault!! Gah!!!!

Funny old thing, life. It would be a lot funnier if my insurance wouldn't DOUBLE if I go through them fix it. But it would, or very nearly. Which means I have to start making the round of the body shops. Which means there goes my paycheck for probably the next two months. Ha ha! Look, I'm laughing at how funny life is! HAHAHAHAHA!


(Actually, I did crack myself up there at the end. Sometimes I am so weird. Admit it, that's why you love me,)