frogg files

"She could never be a saint, but she thought she could be a martyr if they killed her quick." --Flannery O' Connor

Friday, February 17, 2006

Countdown...

Only a few more hours before we head to Tahoe!

Arrived in San Jose late last night, thanks to a flight that got delayed an hour and a half. And by the way, Frogg's Travel Tip #45: if you can possibly avoid it, don't get stranded at Burbank Airport. There is absolutely nothing to do there, not even a good bookstore. There are maybe three places to eat--one of which is strangely called Chezzburgers. What IS a chezz, I wonder? Then there are two snack/magazine shops. That's about it.

(Odd bit of frogg trivia--when the OJ Simpson verdict was given, I was actually watching it at Burbank Airport.)

On top of the delayed flight, there were tons of people in suits lining up to be on my plane. Which isn't weird in itself, but they obviously all knew each other, like they had been to some convention or something. I found out later that some company had had a big meeting at Universal Studios, and had flown down representatives from their NoCal location. And now all these people were (of course) on my flight. (And I thought I had cleverly avoided a crowded plane by booking a late Thursday night flight! Ha.) Moreover, they'd been drinking (which turned out to not be a huge surprise, seeing that their company is a big liquor distributor). And some of them were rude, like the (drunk) guy who pushed in front of me during Southwest's horrible cattle-call-style boarding process, and didn't even look at me or apologize. Oh, and he stepped on my toe, too.

I did not feel congenial toward him at all.

I should also mention that a man in overalls tried to get my phone number so that eventually he could solicit my help in writing documentaries about the homeless and the oppressed and so on, to show the truth to "the people." He was a little unclear on who "the people" were, but he was bound and determined to show them the truth. Not that he has actually written any documentaries, yet. That's what he needs ME for. Because he's not a good writer. And he was sorry he didn't have a card, but if I had one, he could get in touch with me and then (presumably) we could change the world.

I hope you will not be surprised that I did not give him my card.

Later on the flight, I had the chance to hear another drunk guy talking it up to the flight attendant, whose name was Brian. I know this because the drunk guy would yell it out from time to time. "Let me tell you something, Brian." "You know what, Brian?" "Brian, what do you think of my tie?" "No one likes me, Brian." I give Brian a lot of credit, because he did not, in fact, laugh uncontrollably in the guy's face, which I might have done. I was definitely laughing behind his back.

Well, there's one thing about traveling--do it often enough, and you are bound to collect some interesting stories.

But anyway, I made it to NoCal finally, and now I am rarin' to hit the slopes. This will be my first (and possibly only) chance to ride this season, so I have great hopes for an epic weekend. I may even try to take some pics for you, so stay tuned!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Another Reason Why...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day!

The title says it all, really. Hope you all have a wonderful day!

I have to say that mine is off to a great start...co-workers brought in cookies! Woo-hoo! (I am easily pleased, as you can tell!)

Hugs and kisses from the frogg princess, who is taking off to Tahoe on Thursday for a long weekend and much-needed snowboarding adventure, along with her posse (i.e., Mark and steveforpresident). Until I get back, don't have too much fun without me.

Ciao, me hearties...and thanks for all the comments on recent posts! I think we've broken some records!

PS If you didn't get me Mozart tickets, I'll settle for an acre of land on the moon.

PPS I am lying, because I think buying land on the moon is dumb. Funny, sure, but still dumb.

PPPS Unless, of course, you bought me land on the moon already and can't return it. In which case, I think it's very sweet and thoughtful.

Friday, February 10, 2006

If Anyone Was Wondering...

...what to get me for Valentine's Day, I will tell you.

I want a ticket to the performance of Mozart's Requiem, playing at Walt Disney Concert Hall on 2/22, 2/23, or 2/24 at 8pm. One ticket is fine--you don't even have to go with me. Just SEND me there, if you prefer (although in my defense, I am 5'7", brunette, brown-eyed, intelligent, funny, and have really straight white teeth.)

There, that was easy, wasn't it? Oh except maybe I should have mentioned that they are all sold out. So if you swing this, I will not only be grateful, but impressed, too! I will even go so far as to dedicate an entire blog post to saying, "Thank you."

Speaking of Valentine's Day, does anyone have a good V-Day story they want to share? It can be soppy-romantic, and I won't make fun of you, just this once. Or it can be really funny, and then you will get a prize (called My Gratitude). The only rule is, it can't be "well, I was really disappointed when he/she didn't do such and such." Don't want to hear the whining. I want to hear a GOOD story, ok?

If you don't have one, feel free to make one up. Or tell me what you'd like to do for someone for Valentine's, or what you would consider a fun/beautiful/romantic date idea. Just don't do it in a whiny way, such as for example, "Oh if only SOMEone would take me out to Yamashiro's for dinner where we would have such a lovely view of LA (except for that dumb TV Guide sign), and then we could go for a walk on the beach afterward, under the moonlight, but nobody loves me and I'm going to be all alone this Valentine's Day for the hundredth year in a row, and I really wish someone would watch Pride & Prejudice the A&E version with me while we cuddle on the couch sipping red wine, but I guess I'll just have my date with a big tub of Rocky Road as usual, and I'm just so sad that I'm single, don't you think it's sad, I do because I really wish I wasn't single and someone would give me a nice big diamond ring and a box of chocolates, only it better not be See's because EVERYone gets See's, no I want Godiva at the very least, but too bad I'm single and no one's going to get me ANYthing."

Ugh. I think I made myself ill just writing that.

Although come to think of it, dinner at Yamashiro's, followed by sipping shiraz and eating chocolate in front of a romantic movie at home, would make for a pretty good Valentine's date.

Anyway, to recap: whining=bad, romantic/funny/cute story/date idea=good. Got it?

And don't forget the Requiem tickets for yours truly. (Is it weird that I want tickets for a funeral choral piece for Valentine's Day? Probably, but I don't care.)

PS if no one comments, I am going to feel a little foolish, and that would NOT be a good gift to give me for Valentine's Day. Hint hint.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

News Headline of the Day

"Kiss of life saves Boo Boo the chicken."

That would be from the front page of CNN.com this morning. Because there apparently isn't enough important OTHER news in the world.

Oh well, at least it wasn't another story about bird flu.

Come to think of it, CNN might be on to a good tactic for discouraging terrorists. When a bomb goes off somewhere, don't report on it. Just talk about the latest disaster to befall barnyard animals. I bet that would tick off the terrorists, boy. Especially if it kept happening--again, and again, and again. After awhile, maybe they'd just give up.

How many disasters actually befall barnyard animals, though? That might be a problem, in terms of coming up with news stories. Maybe we could just start killing them...oh wait.

But anyway, if you're interested in the full story about Boo Boo, go here. It's pretty priceless. So many wonderful little gems: the fact that it originates from Arkadelphia, Arkansas, the city that apparently can't make up its mind where exactly it belongs. The fact that the quote from the nurse who administered CPR to Boo Boo features the word "dadgum," as in, "its dadgum eyes popped open." The fact that a nurse thought that giving CPR to a chicken was a good idea. Finally, I will be forever grateful for the last two sentences:

"The chicken is called Boo Boo because she is easily frightened. The Calhouns thought Boo Boo was startled and flopped into the pond."

Now that is a happy ending. Or at least a happiness-inducing one, in my case.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Just in Time for V-Day

So in the last post, in the comments section, I asked people if anyone could come up with an invention that would top the boyfriend pillow. One brave soul offered a link to a site with opinionated Christian underwear. That was pretty good, I have to admit. But I have found a new invention that makes all others pale in comparison.

It is called...The Perfect Man.

Yes, ladies, I know--you all had given up in despair, succumbing to the belief that The Perfect Man does not, in fact, exist. (Unless, of course, you are Aunt B, who apparently married him. Isn't that right, Aunt B?)

Well, never fear, because the makers of Brawny Paper Towels are here! And if you're wondering what on earth paper towels have to do with The Perfect Man, well, allow me to enlighten you. The Perfect Man (aka The Brawny Man) is actually created and brought to you by Brawny, whose expertise in manufacturing ways to clean up messes quickly and efficiently have evidently led them to believe they are experts in what women want in a man, too. And maybe they think that men and paper towels have something in commom. They're both, uh, quilted? Naturally absorbent? I don't know.

But the point being, they created a series of video clips in which The Perfect Man--who wears flannel, lives in an adorable cabin in the woods, builds excellent fires in a rustic fireplace, plays the guitar, writes poetry, paints, bakes tiramisu, and stares adoringly into your eyes always--tells you (the viewer) everything you want to hear, from "You got a haircut, didn't you?" to "A toast to you--to your beauty, sure, but also to your intelligence, which you are so kind to share" to "It's just a random breakdown, isn't it. Well, that sounds completely understandable."

If you don't have broadband, you will miss out on the wonder that is The Perfect Man, not to mention a few good laughs. He has to be seen to be believed...or not.

The one thing he does NOT do, as far as I can tell, is play the banjo. So you can see that even The Perfect Man has room for improvement. Right, Aunt B?

NB: the frogg's favorite clips under the pre-made section are, "Your Hair, It's Perfect", "Random Breakdown", and "Every Day is Valentine's Day." Under the custom section, check out "The Warmest Welcome." Then tell me what you think!


NB2: By the way, no, I did not google "flannel shirt" to find this guy. Credit must go to Dave Barry's blog, at davebarry.com. What would I do without thee, Dave? Probably get a lot more work done during the day, but let's not talk about that.