Will someone PLEASE tell me where I can get an adult-sized pair of those shoes kids are wearing, where they can skate around on them, but they look like regular shoes!! I want some!
I mean, really, how fun would that be...you're walking along, and then you think, "Hey I'm going a little slow here," and you shift your foot back...and now you are skating along! Awesome!
Kids have all the cool stuff, I tell you.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Awake...Gah!
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
--Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
--Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
Friday, October 07, 2005
Happy Friday!
Well, my first week at my new job is over, and I can tell you I have learned quite a few things already.
For example:
1) Driving a car with manual transmission in Los Angeles traffic should be outlawed. Honestly, I probably ought to be fined for exacting cruel and unusual punishment on myself.
2) A vending machine where everything is .25 is pretty cool. Too cool. I am eating way more junk than I have in a long time. Today I bought Hostess Cupcakes from the machine, which seems strange. Is that something you normally see in a vending machine? I never really patronized vending machines much (except for sodas), so I don't know.
(What I do know is that the cupcakes didn't taste nearly as good as I remembered from when I was a kid. Sigh...)
3) Being a proofreader suits me a little too well; I like finding other people's mistakes and correcting them brightly in red pen. This seems unfortunate, pointing to either a deep-seated nerdiness or a strongly rooted sense of egotistical superiority. Maybe both. Yikes.
(Add them to the list of reasons why the frogg is still single...what are we up to now? #385?)
4) People in LA have elevated bad driving to an art form. They make me crazy. Worse, they make me look crazy, because I start talking at them, and since I am alone in my car, I look like I'm talking to myself, and not very nicely at that.
(Yesterday a man had the nerve to ask--in an incredibly whiny voice, I might add--what I was doing, not letting him make a left turn across a double-yellow line and three lanes of stopped traffic so he could get into his driveway! Gah!
5) The Hollywood sign was built in 1923, as part of a publicity stunt by a guy named Mark Sennet, who was seeking to draw people to the Hollywoodland subdivision in Beachwood Canyon.
I learned this because I was having a slow day yesterday and because I have an office that has a balcony. What this means is that I went out on the balcony to kill some time and watch the hustle and bustle of Wilshire Blvd, when I happened to look to the left and saw the Hollywood sign on the nearby mountains. So then I started wondering, who on earth came up with that idea in the first place? I mean the idea for the sign. Thank God for the Internet...my voracious curiosity was assuaged! (I also learned that Marilyn Munroe is one of several celebrities who haunts the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. Bet you didn't know that!)
Oh, I guess I also learned some things about my job, but mostly it was all this other stuff.
Have a great weekend, everybody.
PS You will thank me for the Hollywood trivia someday, even if you are laughing at me about it now. Trust me--when a band of roving, blood-thirsty pirates captures you and demands to know when the Hollywood sign was built or else you will have to walk the plank, you will be very relieved that you read this blog.
For example:
1) Driving a car with manual transmission in Los Angeles traffic should be outlawed. Honestly, I probably ought to be fined for exacting cruel and unusual punishment on myself.
2) A vending machine where everything is .25 is pretty cool. Too cool. I am eating way more junk than I have in a long time. Today I bought Hostess Cupcakes from the machine, which seems strange. Is that something you normally see in a vending machine? I never really patronized vending machines much (except for sodas), so I don't know.
(What I do know is that the cupcakes didn't taste nearly as good as I remembered from when I was a kid. Sigh...)
3) Being a proofreader suits me a little too well; I like finding other people's mistakes and correcting them brightly in red pen. This seems unfortunate, pointing to either a deep-seated nerdiness or a strongly rooted sense of egotistical superiority. Maybe both. Yikes.
(Add them to the list of reasons why the frogg is still single...what are we up to now? #385?)
4) People in LA have elevated bad driving to an art form. They make me crazy. Worse, they make me look crazy, because I start talking at them, and since I am alone in my car, I look like I'm talking to myself, and not very nicely at that.
(Yesterday a man had the nerve to ask--in an incredibly whiny voice, I might add--what I was doing, not letting him make a left turn across a double-yellow line and three lanes of stopped traffic so he could get into his driveway! Gah!
5) The Hollywood sign was built in 1923, as part of a publicity stunt by a guy named Mark Sennet, who was seeking to draw people to the Hollywoodland subdivision in Beachwood Canyon.
I learned this because I was having a slow day yesterday and because I have an office that has a balcony. What this means is that I went out on the balcony to kill some time and watch the hustle and bustle of Wilshire Blvd, when I happened to look to the left and saw the Hollywood sign on the nearby mountains. So then I started wondering, who on earth came up with that idea in the first place? I mean the idea for the sign. Thank God for the Internet...my voracious curiosity was assuaged! (I also learned that Marilyn Munroe is one of several celebrities who haunts the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. Bet you didn't know that!)
Oh, I guess I also learned some things about my job, but mostly it was all this other stuff.
Have a great weekend, everybody.
PS You will thank me for the Hollywood trivia someday, even if you are laughing at me about it now. Trust me--when a band of roving, blood-thirsty pirates captures you and demands to know when the Hollywood sign was built or else you will have to walk the plank, you will be very relieved that you read this blog.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Smile :)
"I try to be good! I do! My heart is as pure as the driven snow! It's just that, well, sometimes events beyond my control conspire against me!"
--Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
--Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Remembering
On October 3, 2004, a girl with a broken heart boarded a plane in London, en route to Los Angeles after three weeks in the Middle East and nearly two years of unsettled traveling. She was on her way home, but "home" was a word that had long since ceased to mean anything except a deep, unfillable ache inside her chest, where she thought her heart must be, what was left of it. She tried not to cry, but when she saw news footage of Mt St Helens shaking and trembling and giving in to too much pressure after years of sleeping, she did.
But only a little, so no one would see.
The next day, the homeless girl with the broken heart started writing again, and this--the frogg files--is what she wrote.
Happy birthday, frogg files.
But only a little, so no one would see.
The next day, the homeless girl with the broken heart started writing again, and this--the frogg files--is what she wrote.
Happy birthday, frogg files.
Monday, October 03, 2005
5 Reasons Why I Love LA
5) Impatient people who honk at you to turn left at intersections, even though someone is in front of you, and you are waiting for them to turn, because after all, you aren't driving a monster truck that would allow you to roll right over them and skoosh them so that the person behind you could then get to their destination those two milliseconds faster.
Ok, I'm a fast driver as a rule, but when someone pulls this little stunt on me, I suddenly turn into Gracie the Infant Snail, slowing to as much of a craaaawl as I can without coming to an absolute stop. Then I watch the person behind me proceed to do the Aggressive Car Seat Dance, featuring all sorts of hilarious, blood-pressure-raising gestures. It's a fun game! Try it sometime!
4) Wildfire season.
Because the air quality isn't bad enough.
3) The lack of a decent public transportation system.
I have friends from New Zealand who come to Los Angeles and take buses everywhere, and this completely mystifies me. I'm always like, "We have buses??"
Haha. I'm kidding, of course. Naturally I know we have buses, because I get stuck behind them when I want to make right turns anywhere. But I hardly ever see anyone on these buses. And if you asked me to plot out how to get anywhere on a bus, I would stare blankly, and then laugh at you. I don't think I would even know where to start to find out how to go anywhere on a bus.
The same applies to the ridiculous excuse for a "Metro" that we have here, only raised to the 22nd power times 10.
2) Um, I can't think of anything for this one, so we'll just move right along to the number one reason why I love LA...(drum roll please):
1) TRAFFIC!
One of the interesting things about driving in LA is that no one here measures distance in miles, but in time. This is because distance means absolutely nothing in a place where it can routinely take you more than an hour to go 15 miles. There is a formula that Angelenos can use to figure out how long it takes to get anywhere, and it goes like this:
Where x=distance, and y=time and c=destination, then--oh wait, maybe that should be "d" since destination starts with d! Gah. This is lame. Forget it.
The point is, a couple weeks ago my brother left our house two hours in advance of an appointment he had in LA, and he got there 45 minutes late. The location of the appointment was probably not more than 30 miles away. And no, I am not exaggerating.
Oh, and let me tell you how much more fun traffic is when you drive a car with manual transmission! The joy I feel in shifting and downshifting while navigating stop-and-go traffic at 0-5 miles an hour is really inexpressible, so you will have to imagine the verbal expressions that might be employed to express all that...rapture.
Here is a picture of the sort of gridlock that just makes my day, taken while I was attempting to get a friend to the airport in a timely (ha!) fashion:
Gotta love LA!
Ok, I'm a fast driver as a rule, but when someone pulls this little stunt on me, I suddenly turn into Gracie the Infant Snail, slowing to as much of a craaaawl as I can without coming to an absolute stop. Then I watch the person behind me proceed to do the Aggressive Car Seat Dance, featuring all sorts of hilarious, blood-pressure-raising gestures. It's a fun game! Try it sometime!
4) Wildfire season.
Because the air quality isn't bad enough.
3) The lack of a decent public transportation system.
I have friends from New Zealand who come to Los Angeles and take buses everywhere, and this completely mystifies me. I'm always like, "We have buses??"
Haha. I'm kidding, of course. Naturally I know we have buses, because I get stuck behind them when I want to make right turns anywhere. But I hardly ever see anyone on these buses. And if you asked me to plot out how to get anywhere on a bus, I would stare blankly, and then laugh at you. I don't think I would even know where to start to find out how to go anywhere on a bus.
The same applies to the ridiculous excuse for a "Metro" that we have here, only raised to the 22nd power times 10.
2) Um, I can't think of anything for this one, so we'll just move right along to the number one reason why I love LA...(drum roll please):
1) TRAFFIC!
One of the interesting things about driving in LA is that no one here measures distance in miles, but in time. This is because distance means absolutely nothing in a place where it can routinely take you more than an hour to go 15 miles. There is a formula that Angelenos can use to figure out how long it takes to get anywhere, and it goes like this:
Where x=distance, and y=time and c=destination, then--oh wait, maybe that should be "d" since destination starts with d! Gah. This is lame. Forget it.
The point is, a couple weeks ago my brother left our house two hours in advance of an appointment he had in LA, and he got there 45 minutes late. The location of the appointment was probably not more than 30 miles away. And no, I am not exaggerating.
Oh, and let me tell you how much more fun traffic is when you drive a car with manual transmission! The joy I feel in shifting and downshifting while navigating stop-and-go traffic at 0-5 miles an hour is really inexpressible, so you will have to imagine the verbal expressions that might be employed to express all that...rapture.
Here is a picture of the sort of gridlock that just makes my day, taken while I was attempting to get a friend to the airport in a timely (ha!) fashion:
Gotta love LA!
Sunday, October 02, 2005
News
I start a new job tomorrow. It's the first time I'll have a "typical" 9-5 (or more like 9-6ish) job since, oh, hmmm...2002? Wow. Hard to believe it's been that long!
Well, it's good news for me, but bad news for the frogg files, because I sincerely doubt I will be updating this blog as frequently as I have til now. However, I promise will do my best to check in at least once or twice a week! If I get too behind, drop me a line and tell me how much you miss me; that is always a good way to motivate me into writing.
In other news--the boys are all home this weekend! Yay! My youngest brother (who lives in Texas) surprised me when he showed up unexpectedly last night, when everyone except yours truly had gone to bed. I love surprises like that!
In yet more news--um, well, actually I don't have any other news. Sorry, false alarm.
Have a great Sunday, and a great week.
Well, it's good news for me, but bad news for the frogg files, because I sincerely doubt I will be updating this blog as frequently as I have til now. However, I promise will do my best to check in at least once or twice a week! If I get too behind, drop me a line and tell me how much you miss me; that is always a good way to motivate me into writing.
In other news--the boys are all home this weekend! Yay! My youngest brother (who lives in Texas) surprised me when he showed up unexpectedly last night, when everyone except yours truly had gone to bed. I love surprises like that!
In yet more news--um, well, actually I don't have any other news. Sorry, false alarm.
Have a great Sunday, and a great week.
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