Vacation Time!

Off to Colorado for a few days of camping in the Great Outdoors. At least, I hope it's great. I know it'll definitely be outdoors.

I am having last-minute packing remorse, wondering if I've packed too much of this, too little of that, none of something else... can't think about it now, have a flight to catch. Oh well! C'est la vie and all that!

Maybe I'll post some pictures when I get back. If I take any, that is. I'm notoriously bad at taking pictures when I go anyplace. I think the last time I took any pictures was in Honduras over a year ago. My life for the most part is unrecorded by photography/video. Which in today's digitally enhanced, YouTube-saturated world probably means that I don't technically exist. Hmmm. Something to ponder while I'm gone—along with how much you'll miss me, of course.

Kisses from the (phantom) frogg princess...

A Little Salt Goes A Long Way

And a LOT of salt goes ALL the way—to the slammer, baby.

(Note to Dunkin Donuts employees: Watch the powdered sugar, guys. YOU MIGHT BE NEXT!)

Seriously though, couldn't they find someone else to arrest in Georgia? Like, I don't know... maybe a criminal?

Bleah

I'm sad. I found out today one of my favorite co-workers is leaving for a position in another company. And even though I knew it was coming, I'm still not happy about it. Well, I'm happy for her, of course. But not for me.

Also, and not that this is at all in the same league as the above, but I think I swallowed a bug while I was running tonight. Yuck.

Finally, I can't seem to focus on my writing tonight. I have two new stories in the works, and I was all excited about them—until I sat down to work on them. To my disappointment, the stories refused to write themselves. Grrr.

I think I need to call it a day.

Winner of the Frogg's "Totally Lame Excuse for a Research Project" Award

Talk about a waste of time— and research money.

Still Hoppin'

In spite of what are no doubt the hopes and best wishes of the Neptune Society (see previous post), I continue to live and breathe. At least, I think so. Actually the nine-mile jog I did this morning has left me feeling a little unsure about my mortal status, and the current heat wave isn't exactly helping. I started my run at just before 7am, and by the time I finished at 8:30ish, it was already inching toward 80 degrees.

All of which to say, I may not be an actual zombie, but I bet I could play one pretty convincingly on TV right about now.

On another note, I was thinking the other day about all this global warming stuff, and I started wondering what happened to cause it the first time, back when the earth was covered in ice, during a time called (appropriately, if not creatively) the Ice Age. I mean, where did all the ice go? I'm guessing, through a series of lightning-fast intellectual processes far too advanced to explain here, that it melted, but my question is: how? Were the wooly mammoths using hair spray with dangerous fluorocarbons? Or were the other creatures driving cars and eating up fossil fuels (when they weren't falling into pools of them, getting stuck, and then dying for the benefit of future paleontologists who would eventually study their tarpitted remains)?

Inquiring minds want to know.

An Offer To Die For

So two nights ago I was going through my mail and found an offer from a company called the Neptune Society, for a chance to win (drum roll please)... a free pre-paid cremation. Yes, you read that correctly; I said CREMATION. Not $1 million. Not a brand-new car. No, I get an offer to win a means of disposing of my mortal remains. As you can imagine, I am thrilled to be so subtly reminded of my inevitable—and apparently imminent—demise by thoughtful direct marketers. Woo-hoo.

Oh and here's my fav quote from the letter: "Cremation just makes sense." Doesn't it though?

You know, this was really the icing on the cake of weird mailings that I've been receiving lately, such as offers for discounts on hearing aids (which I emphatically do NOT need), or offers for estate planning services that would presumably necessitate me having an estate in the first place (which I emphatically do NOT have).

So yeah, seems like 32 is the new 80, folks. Hope you're not older than I am, or you might just as well be a ghost.

OK, I'm off to bed. But before I go, allow me to extend my sincere congratulations to Ruth Sims, who was the July 2007 winner of the pre-paid cremation offer. You go, girl! Have fun with that.

Finally!

Hey everyone! Look, I'm still alive! Barely perhaps—or so it feels like today—but here I am anyway.

Contrary to popular (i.e., one person's) belief, I have neither been incarcerated nor locked up in a convent for the past however long it's been since my last post. I have, however, been a) working, b) writing (or avoiding it, which takes even MORE energy than the actual writing), c) running (gotta get in shape for the Nike Women's Half-Marathon!), d) trying to have some semblance of something that might approach the rudiments of a social life.

Needless to say, I'm exhausted.

Speaking of writing, I am now just past the halfway point of my second semester. Hard to believe how fast it's going. If I were a better, less completely frazzled writer, I'd come up with some metaphor for the speed with which the seasons are flying by, but I can't. Two nights of last-minute panic putting together a packet of writing that went out this morning have sapped every last drop of creativity that I had, and I have nothing left to give. Sorry. You will have to make up your own metaphor this time.

And please don't ask me what a metaphor is, or I will throw my beloved copy of The Elements of Style at you. (In addition to being tired, I am also cranky. In case you couldn't tell.)

On the plus side of life, today is Friday. That means tomorrow is Saturday. And since I sent off my writing packet today, that means I can actually *gasp* enjoy the weekend.

Wow. Now I have to think of something fun to do, I guess. Hmm, that could take some work.

D'oh! Work does not equal fun, so that means I've ruined my weekend in advance, before it's even happened. I am a talented girl, aren't I?

I really, really, really need more sleep...