I Love Stephen Colbert

That's all.

Will She Never Learn?

Nearly 31 years old, and I still haven't figured out how to write a paper well ahead of its deadline. I have an article for my local paper due tomorrow. I did the interview over a week ago. I started writing it...tonight. Yes, I waited til the last minute, como siempre. Now all I want to do is go to bed, but I can't because I have to get this piece done!

So what am I doing? Blogging.

Obviously, I am ready for graduate school.

The Things I Carry...In My Car

Today I cleaned out my car. Here is a list of things I found (by no means exhaustive):

Books:
-Til We Have Faces, by C.S. Lewis
-Three Junes, by Julia Glass
-Interpreter of Maladies, by Jhumpa Lahiri
-Esther Stories, by Peter Orner
-The Jesus I Never Knew, by Philip Yancey
-My California, a collection of essays about... California (duh)
-A book of piano exercises by Kohler (I was wondering where that was!)
-A Bible

Magazines:
-Harper's
-Paste Magazine (2 issues)
-Poets & Writers
-Shape
-National Geographic Traveler
-Granta

(All of the above were from 2005, except one issue of Paste, which was from 2004. Oh, and Poets & Writers, which was from 2006.)

Clothes:
-Snowboarding pants
-2 sweatshirts
-Thermal shirt
-Beanie
-A bathrobe I bought for someone for Christmas and ended up not giving to them, and yet not returning--still brand-new in its packaging

Misc:
-"Fresh Vanilla" body splash from Bath & Body Works
-"Cucumber Melon" anti-bacterial hand gel, also from B&B (never used)
-"Juniper Breeze" anti-bacterial hand gel, etc. (used once or twice)
-Vanilla bean lip balm from B&B (which I think might be two years old, and which went through the wash once, but it still tastes good)
-Chocolate peppermint stick lip balm, by the folks who make Luna/Cliff bars, and which I picked up at the SF Nike Marathon in October
-A bar of glycerine soap, still in its wrapping
-A lipstick called "Wine With Everything" which I tried once and thought was WAY too magenta-y (why do I have this? I don't even USE lipstick!)
-A check for $19.38 from my mother--made out to me in July 2005
-A St. Patrick's Day clover-shaped plastic green ring, which I took off of a cupcake and kept for some reason (but hey, at least it was from THIS year's St. Paddy's)


Note: This whole post constitutes reason #54 why the frogg is still single.)

How Does He Do It, Folks?

Our president is not my favorite person in the world, but he does say some of my favorite things. For example, while at a summit in Mexico with Presidente Fox, Bush employed his usual perspicacity to sum up the illegal immigration situation as follows:

"When you have robust trade like we have, there are issues that come up. One way to look at it is, if we had no trade, we'd have no issues."*

Yes, I guess that IS one way to look at it. One amazing way. Wow.



*Quote was on CNN.com this morning, but has since been replaced. Too bad.

Bemusings

Every Thursday night I drive to North Hollywood for piano lessons, and every Thursday night I am struck into bemusement as I get off of the 170 freeway at Oxnard. Because right there on the side of the off-ramp, before you even get to the bottom of the exit, there is a big handicap sign at the side of the road. You know, the big blue sign with a white wheelchair-person on it.

To say the least, I'm puzzled by this. Are there handicapped people hiding in the bushes along the side of the ramp, that are suddenly going to run (or walk, or hobble, or roll if they are in a wheelchair) across the street? Is the off-ramp only FOR handicapped people? Am I handicapped because I use it? Or will I BECOME handicapped if I use it long enough? I mean, it's a tight turn as I come off the freeway, but it doesn't seem THAT dangerous.

I just don't know. It's very perplexing.

Anyway, off the topic, but my piano teacher recently asked me if I'd like to be in a recital with some of her other students. Instantly I had this vision in my head of me sitting in a room with a bunch of 10-year-olds, waiting to play Mozart's Sonata in C Major K545, after they are all done with their Spinning Songs and Chopsticks, and so on. (Actually, the kids will probably be playing harder pieces than me, if I know them. Grrr, kids!) And other parents would think I was a parent too, in the audience, until I got up to play. Ha! So of course, I said yes. How could I refuse an opportunity that, at the least, is sure to afford me a good blog? I ask you.

But it will be fun to perform again. Though I wonder if things have changed in the piano-performance world since I used to be a (minuscule) part of it. So long ago--why, back in my day, we didn't even HAVE pianos. We had to move our fingers and sing the notes as we went.

I'm lying, of course. We had pianos... and we had to strap them to our backs and walk three miles in the snow (because back then SoCal would get snow, it was the Ice Age you see) and then set it up in the little wooden school house where Laura Ingalls resided and then play for everyone, our brave little fingers stiff with cold.

Ok, I am being silly now. "Brave little fingers"?? Whatever.

The POINT is, I'm looking forward to playing in front of people again. It's great learning music for it's own sake, but after all, music is meant for communication, for expression. You don't get the full experience of music when you play it only for yourself.

So it should be a fun time, and I'll keep you all posted. In the meantime, if anyone can come up with reasons why a handicap sign might be placed alongside a freeway off-ramp, I'd be forever grateful. It's driving me crazy!

Lookin' for Leprechauns!

If someone came up to me and said, "Hey, I'm going hunting for leprechauns, where should I start?" I'd probably laugh at them. A lot. But when I recovered (which wouldn't be for awhile), I'd suggest, oh I don't know, maybe Ireland. Just as a guess. But it turns out that I'd be wrong.

Because according to the following news report, a leprechaun was spotted in a tree in Mobile, Alabama (and there's a series of phrases that I never thought I'd string together in a single sentence). Why Mobile, you ask? It's a mystery. Maybe the leprechaun likes deep Southern cooking. Anyway, his presence caused great excitement among lots of people (except for one lady who said it was probably a crackhead, and that the crack told him to climb the tree).

Watch the Leprechaun News Report here.

I really hope you are able to watch this clip. Trust me, it is SOOOO worth it.

My favorite part is the African-American man who is "prepared for his encounter with the leprechaun," carrying around a special magic flute that, I guess, attracts or repels the Wee Folk (I wasn't clear on that one), and which has been in his family for generations, passed down by his great-great-grandfather... who was Irish.

(Upon several viewings, I've come to the conclusion that he was being sarcastic. He MUST be being sarcastic!)

My other favorite part is when they show an amateur sketch of the supposed leprechaun.

Oh, What A World

Ladies and gentleman, what kind of a world do we live in when a poor, defenseless, three-year-old child has to be rescued from a prison? A prison, I might add, that is under the control of... the Godfather?

I ask you.