Apropos of nothing in particular, but as much as the first Jaws movie was actually kind of scary, the next three are... not so much scary as comedic.
And somehow they are all almost always on TV on Saturday afternoons. Why is that?
One of the many mysteries of the universe, no doubt.
But anyway, what I really wanted to talk about today was something else. See, I stumbled upon a real find while browsing the bookstore at the Huntington Library & Gardens in San Marino today. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that your life probably isn't complete until you own these two unique items:
1) The Jane Austen action figure; and
2) The Nancy Pearl Librarian action figure.
Now, I know you might be skeptical. I know you might be thinking, "Just how much action could a Jane Austen figure get herself into?" I don't really want to know the answer, but I will say that the Librarian figure features push-button (and doubtless patented) "shushing" action. And you'd better believe I'm all over that.
I'd personally love to take Nancy Pearl to work with me, and keep her in my cubicle. Then, whenever my neighbor (who is good-natured and funny and I like him, but who certainly would have gotten his mouth washed out with soap alot if he grew up in my family) begins to let loose with the F-bombs, I would just whip out my superhero Librarian, push a button, and SSHHHHHH him to death!
Er, well, not to death exactly. Sorry, got carried away for a second there.
Of course, I guess I could just shush him without the action figure. But you can't tell me it wouldn't be a LOT more fun having a stern, 5" tall Librarian come to my auditory rescue.
And then I could use the Jane Austen action figure to write the story of the brave Librarian action figure for me, here on the blog! Leaving me free to laze the day away on a hammock in the sun. Or, I don't know... maybe even go to Disneyland! The world would be my oyster, thanks to Jane Austen who would do all my writing for me! And yes, I'd steal all the credit.
Oh well, I can dream, can't I? Which beats watching Jaws: The Revenge, for sure.
Sigh.
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5 comments:
Do you think there are other classic author action figures? i would LOVE a Mark Twain.
Oh, yes - a Derrida "action" figure would be great!
I'm really diggin on Jane Austen as an action figure. I mean really, could there be anything more perfect??
Oh, and I love how your first thought regarding the librarian is that should could be a weapon of mass shushing for you. Way to be agressive. ;)
So did you purchase said action figures?
no kidding, becca. austen even comes with a little writing desk, and she's holding a quill pen, all ready to go!
ha, carl! what would his special "action" be? oh wait, i know! first of all, he would come out of the box in pieces. then, with the touch of a button, he will construct himself, but in any old random fashion. so he may not even look human by the time he comes together! but never fear, his deconstructionist capabilities will come to the fore, again with a simple button-press... he will fall to pieces and you'll get to start all over again! woo-hoo!
i'd take a spinoza action figure any day, with special "lens grinding" action for making eyeglasses! SOOOO cool.
and if spinoza were a SUPERHERO action figure, the glasses would help whoever wore them x-ray vision to see through high-flown theologico-political power plays!
Grace,
The Shiraz is AMAZING!
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