One of my single girlfriends and I recently had parallel relationship experiences where, in the space of pretty much the exact same period of time, we both met guys that we liked, whom we dated or hung out with for awhile, and then watched everything fall apart in the end. And our similar situations (made worse by the fact that we are both turning the big 3-0 this year) engender endless conversations over coffee, tea, and occasionally large amounts of chocolate, during which we seek to discover:
1) What's wrong with us, and
2) What's wrong with them ("them" being the entire male species)
We don't get very far with either of these topics in terms of getting to an answer, but they are the sort of things that girls talk about at great length, so, being girls, that's what we do. You can't escape the mandate of your genes.
But another thing we talk about is the question of whether or not there is a "The One" for everyone, and by The One, I mean one particular person who out of all the other people on earth, is designed just for you, and vice versa. I have my own opinions on this (like that's a big surprise), but while I sort them out, I'm curious to know what other people think. So tell me.
7 comments:
There must be built a new model of boy. It is something I often give my mind to. Certain it is that, if humankind is ever to be righted, there must arise among men a movement parallel to feminism among women: men passionate to humanize men.
i don't know if i ever really believed there was a One, even in my younger years. strangely, it is only recently that i've started to wonder if perhaps there might be. i ask God about it, but he doesn't seem inclined to let me in on the secret, at least not so far. he just says "trust me" a lot...hardly an answer, as far as i'm concerned.
still, i'm comforted.
I completely agree with you Porter... I think there's been a complete and total immasculating of men lately, and it's taking it's toll... so sad.
As to the one, don't think there is one 'one'. It seems to me that fairy tale is also taking its toll on society. People expecting an easy road because they finally found 'the one' end up with a partner they can't stand 10 years down the road because they didn't realize that they were going to need to put in some effort. I used to think that when people said they'd 'fallen out of love' that it was a fallacy, they were just looking for an easy way out. But the older I get the more I think that love truly is a choice, day by day.
As to the answer 'trust me', I think that trust is also a choice, and maybe the answer is less of an answer and more of a request. But then again that could just be me reading in. Cause frankly, as I get older I find it easier to love and harder to trust. But maybe that cause I too am soon approaching the big 3-0 and am becoming more bitter and curmudgeonly... cause that for sure is true as well... :)
Becca
Nup I don't think there's "the one" out there, as love is a choice so I think there would be plenty of guys or girls you could choose to love etc,etc,etc but of course they have to choose to love you back!
Of course there's one! and only one. If love for her does not feel like a sickness, she is not the one. If anyplace seems home but her, she is not the one. If God isn't found in her more than in the Bible, she is not the one. But could the one have been of several? I think so.
That one true love is like dying. When I die, some will discuss whether I could have done so at another time or in another way. Perhaps; but what is that to me?
i like your last comment alot, porter.
and becca, surely not curmudgeonly my dear! :) although you certainly get points for the word. just remember that i am still closer to 30 than you are!
andi, always a pleasure to see you here, thanks for chiming in.
anon, thanks for stopping by as well.
and for what it's worth, i think all of you are right.
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