The Queenstown Luge

So about this time last year, I was traipsing around the South Island of New Zealand with my brother.

One of the funnest things we did was the luge at Queenstown. I highly recommend it to anyone. Here's how it works...first you take a gondola ride up the side of a mountain, unless you want to hike up, which we definitely didn't. At the top is the luge ride. The ride goes like this: you get a helmet, and then sit down in a little plastic sled with handlebars and the ride operator gives a short safety talk, which basically consists of "Here's how you stop, here's how you go, don't hit other people, have a nice time." My brother and I kept waiting for the release waiver that would absolve the luge people from any responsibility should we lose control of our little sleds and go careening off the track, over the mountain cliff, and down to the valley below, but no waiver was given. Kiwis obviously aren't too worried about getting sued. My brother and I looked at each other.

"Cool," he said.

"Yeah," I said.

"So..you wanna race?"

"Duh."

On went the little plastic helmets and we were off. Forget safety, kids...we had learned to drive in LA, and we were going to put those valuable skills to use. Well, one skill anyway--speeding.

There are two luge tracks. One is the beginner track, and you have to do that one the first time. It is nice and scenic, and as you putz along in your little plastic sled, you can take in the beautiful view of the jagged peaks that make up the Remarkables on the other side of the huge lake below.

You do have to be careful about how you slow down on the sleds, because the method for stopping is pushing forward on the handlebars, and if you do this too suddenly at high speeds you will probably upend your little sled, and fall right out of it on the hard pavement of the track. I was nervous that I would do this; it seemed pretty typical of the sort of thing that I manage to do to myself, but the solution was quite simple really: don't use the brakes.

That was my brother's method, anyway, and it seemed to work for him. If he had been a cartoon character, you would have seen a trail of fire on the concrete track behind him as he wildly slalomed down the hill. There was one section on the advanced track with a sudden drop, of off which I think he actually caught a fair amount of air, then zoomed down the rest of the hill, blazing past a yellow sign on the side of the track with a big exclamation point and the word "SLOW." (Or maybe it said "Brake." Either way, it was pretty ironic.)

The fun didn't stop when our five rides were over. We stood on the side of the track for awhile and watched people come down, and cheered them on. We saw one guy go by, very cautiously, and we shouted encouragement to him. "No brakes, no brakes!" were the actual words we used, as I recall. He smiled nervously, but I noticed that the next time he came down the hill, he was going a bit faster. The time after that, faster still and he seemed more intently hunched over the handlebars, more tightly focused. It was a big improvement to his first run. And by his last time, I think he really wasn't using his brakes! Mission accomplished. My brother and I were very pleased and applauded enthusiastically.

We also saw a few luge accidents, where people lost control and hit the padded sides of the track. We applauded enthusiastically for them too, since they did a good job of providing amusement for us.

Ah, good times on the Queenstown luge. Check it out if you get a chance. And take me with you...