Hello, and welcome to an all-new episode of "Frogg's Legs: Adventures in Non-Cooking," hosted by yours truly.
Today's topic, based on my own most recent culinary experiences, is: "Quick Meals for the Busy Professional; or, Don't Underestimate the Power of the Vending Machine."
Of course, if you are a Busy Professional, you are probably not reading this because you are so busy. In which case, I refer you to one of my upcoming episodes, entitled: "Do Not Take Your Blackberry On Vacation, You Psychotic Overachiever. Please." (I realize that has nothing to do with cooking, but I don't care.)
But back to today's show. I'm here to tell you that vending machines, when put to proper use, can save valuable time, and provide important nutritional nutrients, such as Vitamin B12 and Riboflavin. Also chocolate. What more does anyone really need to get through a full workday? I ask you.
Let's take a look at what I ate today as an illustration of what I mean, shall we?
Breakfast: Vending machine Pop Tarts.
I didn't have time for breakfast this morning because I overslept and was desperately trying to get out of the house before 7:30am, so that I could get stuck in bad traffic instead of hideously-horrendous-bad-evil traffic. But I knew there was no reason to fear that I would miss out on the most important meal of the day-- after all, the vending machine at work carries strawberry Pop Tarts! Strawberry=fruit=healthy. So far my day was off to a great culinary start!
Lunch: Vending machine Cheez-Its and vending machine Diet Dr. Pepper.
This mouth-watering treat for the tastebuds came about because I had been given a copywriting assignment at work--my first one. Naturally that meant that I was suddenly inundated with massive amounts of proofreading jobs that demanded my attention, since after all I am the full-time proofreader. So that meant that I had to give up my lunch hour to do the copywriting assigment, because I didn't have any other time to do it. Once again, the vending machine came to the rescue! Cheezits=dairy=healthy. Diet Dr. Pepper=diet=healthy. AND I had the added benefit of an award-winning taste combination! Mmmm-mmmmm!
Afternoon snack: Vending machine Hostess Zingers
When all you've had is Cheezits and Diet Dr. Pepper for lunch, you might find yourself feeling a little peckish (i.e., fainting) come mid-afternoon, so it's time for a snack. I chose Hostess Zingers. Chocolate=delicious=who cares if it's healthy? I had my dairy and fruit group already, so leave me alone! And give me back my Zingers!
Er, sorry. All this healthy food made me a little delirious for a second there. I am better now. Moving on...
That's the end of our show! I hope you learned a thing or two. Until next time, this is the frogg, collapsing in a sugar-induced coma onto her bed. Hopefully she will wake up tomorrow. If you don't hear from her after a few days, DON'T EAT ANYTHING FROM YOUR VENDING MACHINE.
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4 comments:
Wow... now I can't stop laughing!! :)
I love your way of creating food groups out of what really is hydrogenation held together with fructose. ;) I am torn between worrying about you eating food from a vending machine, and secretly hoping you do again soon so as to get our next installment of vending machine adventures!!
Added bonus:
Chocolate comes from a cocoa bean, which means it is a legume which means you had some kind of protein or calcium, I think
Aunt B
chocolate=vegetable=healthy! I KNEW IT! yay!!
I believe that whatever governmental organization that decides what's good and bad to eat, changed everything from "food groups," to the "food pyramid." I am also pretty sure that included at the top of the food pyramid is the fat/junk food section. Being that it is at the top of the pyramid, it must be the most important, so I think you have covered the most important parts of your daily diet. Compare it to the USRDA, and I think you're okay! I'm off to grab a slice of cold pizza....
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