I was reading this article a couple weeks ago in the NY Times, in which a current cancer patient is featured, and this paragraph jumped out at me at the end:
She knows she frightens people with her bald head, so obviously a cancer patient. When someone is on crutches with a broken ankle, strangers offer condolences and ask about the injury. But people avert their eyes when they see Ms. Kutt. Only once, she said, did a stranger approach, and that was a woman who also had breast cancer.
The reason it caught my eye is because I totally don't know that I frighten anyone with my bald head when I go out sans chapeau. Sure, sometimes kids stare, but they haven't exactly run away screaming. So am I just oblivious? Are people actually scared when they see me? I can't really imagine it. Maybe it's just because I live in LA, where pretty much anything goes in the hairstyle/looks department and and anyway everyone makes a point to be extremely blase´and unsurprised about anything out of the ordinary.
I do get the impression that some people probably think that I've shaved my head on purpose. Today, as I was walking into a Starbucks, a security guard who had a bald head complimented me on mine. I just smiled and said, "Thanks," preferring not to make it all awkward by explaining why I actually have one, but I kinda felt as though I was being complimented under false pretenses. I mean, as though I were this bold, tough chick who doesn't give a damn what people think about her. Which wouldn't be true.
Well, okay, maybe the latter part is a little more true than it used to be. But not totally true. And bold or tough? That's actually funny.
I still miss my hair, even though I've gotten more used to not having it. I rarely wear hats anymore, unless it's cold. It's not pride or confidence, just laziness and the fact that I'm kind of tired of hats.
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6 comments:
Weird that a bald head frightens people, but I guess anyone would get scared when faced with their own mortality. I'm glad to hear that you're getting more comfortable without your hair, but I hope you get to grow it back soon because I know how much hair means!! :D
It is one of the side benefits of living in California, isn't it? If Suzanne Somers could rock a side pony in "Three's Company," then you can do anything you want. But I bet you can't wait for your hair to come back!
I'd say it's definitely a California thing. After a few years in Berkeley, even naked people dancing on the street were barely (so to speak) a blip...especially compared to the north east of England, where just about any personal oddity is enough to single you out for life. Personally, though, when I see a bald woman, I have to admit that I try to figure out from her clothes, etc. whether it's a choice or a necessity, and then I worry that she'll think I'm staring, and then I'll look away and worry that she thinks I'm avoiding eye contact. And then I'll just feel kind of stupid...if that makes you feel any better ; )
yup, eldila, you follow up on the point i was making at the end of my post... it's actually not totally obvious just from someone's bald head that they are a cancer patient, is it? so i'd say that by the same token it's not obvious people are "frightened" just because they don't make eye contact or don't strike up a conversation with someone they don't know. i think my perception of what other people think about me sometimes (not always, granted) has to do with what i am feeling about myself at the moment. if i'm feeling crappy and scared, maybe i project the fear onto those around me... and then they seem to me that they are afraid. i don't know.
then again, like i said before, maybe i'm just oblivious! but hey, it works for me. so there. :)
I'm not afraid of your big bald head! In fact its smoken Grace! you should keep shaving it...
Forget about being bald. I am exponentially more concerned about Starbucks having to hire security guards.
Is caffeine affecting people adversely in some places around the country that guards are a mandate?
"I'll have a decaf caramel makiado and kindly have your security guard walk me to my car, PLEASE!"
JNJ
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