Time for Some More Frogg Awards

Been awhile since I've handed any of these out, so with no ado whatsoever, here are three new awards for your enjoyment. Please hold your applause until the end!

Let's start with the Frogg Award for Worst Name For A Bus Tour:

Blood & Dumplings Crime Bus Tour

One word: Yuck.

I was alerted to the existence of this tour by a co-worker. She sent me the link via IM this morning, and when I asked her how she heard of it, she said she's on a new mailing list and that's what they sent out today. That begs a lot of questions, but I'm not sure I want to ask them.

So let's move on.

The Frogg Award for Best Headline of the Day goes to this story on Yahoo!. For those of you too lazy to click on the link, it reads:

"Hole in Pyjamas Reveals Internet Plagiarism"

Now tell me that's not an article you want to read.

Finally, last but most definitely far from least, let's have a big drum roll please for the Frogg's You've-Seriously-Got-To-Be-Kidding-Me Award, which goes to Newt Gingrich! During a radio interview with conservative Christian leader Dr. James Dobson, Gingrich admitted that while he was in the middle of the Clinton impeachment process, he himself was doing a little extramarital wandering of his own.

He pointed out that he wasn't proud of it, which makes me laugh. Who would be, honestly? How many people would raise their hands and say, "I am so proud of the fact that I cheated on my wife/husband while championing the cause of family values!"? Give me a break, Newt. Of course you're not proud of it. There's nothing to be proud of.

My favorite part of the article is where Gingrich talks about how he hasn't decided whether or not to run for president. I wonder if the Christian Right will like him more than Guiliani? After all, Gingrich also has a couple divorces, uh, under his belt. But maybe the fact that he has now confessed his sins to Dr. James Dobson will absolve him of the guilt.

Well, that wraps it up for this episode of the Frogg Awards. Thanks for tuning in! I'm sure there'll be a next time, and I hope you'll be there to see it. Until then, folks, be nice, play safe, and kiss a frog for me! (Oh, and If he turns out to be a prince, please send him my way!)

And Now the News...

Sitting at the local Starbucks (shame on me!) trying to get motivated to write. It's a challenge at the best of times, but even more so when the stupid A/C vent right above my head is blasting air that seems to have been imported directly from the Arctic Circle.

And before you ask, "Why don't you just move to another table" and I give you my death-stare for the implication that I wouldn't already have thought of it, let me assure you that I have thought of it, but the ones in warm zones are taken. Big surprise.

Brrrrrr.

Well, if I don't succumb to hypothermia, I will hopefully finish one of my short stories tonight. Please oh please.

In other news, I'll be attending a benefit dinner on Saturday night for the International Justice Mission, an organization that fights against the sex-slave industry. Will let you know how it goes...

In still other news, also along the worthy-cause line, some of my creative writing appears in a booklet called 30 Days of Prayer for the Voiceless. The booklet is designed to raise awareness of gender-based injustice issues and get people praying about them, and hopefully taking steps to act for change. Hope you'll check out the link and then, if you have any questions about this project, please feel free to contact me.

And last but not least, remind me to never again order a cinnamon dolce latte with sugar-free syrup. Yuck. Sometimes flavor is worth the extra calories.

That's a tip, kids. Write it down.

Letter To The Christian Right

Dear Christian Right,

How are you today? I thought I'd drop you a line, seeing as how I heard that one of your peeps brought up Guiliani's divorces as a potential problem in the presidential race of 2008. You know, being an issue of character and all. While I agree that divorce is a painful travesty, I was kind of wondering what you might think about someone who lies? A lot? Or obstructs justice? Or institutes an illegal wire-tapping program? Or enacts laws that unapologetically chip away at civil liberties? Or starts a pre-emptive war? Or whose administration seems continually plagued by scandal and incompetency in a rather alarming degree?

Just curious.

Sincerely,

grackyfrogg

In Case You Were Wondering

I suppose, as a Christian, I should make some mention of the controversy surrounding the recently re-discovered alleged Lost Tomb of Jesus and discuss What It Means To Me and My Faith.

Luckily for all of you, I can make this really short: so far, NOTHING.

Whew, glad I got that out of the way.

To Hike, or Not to Hike?

A friend invited me to join her and another girl on a backpacking trip in Kauai in April... I must say I'm very tempted.

Not that my experience in backpacking is anything to speak of, at least not without hysterical laughter. I always seem to do or wear all the wrong things when camping. In new zealand, for example, I went backpacking for the first time in my life... I had ill-fitting shoes, the wrong kind of pack, I was out of shape. I remember being on part of the Abel Tasman track (the part that hardly anyone ever does, as it turns out, because it's straight UP and you practically need a machete to hack your way through the bush), and I nearly burst into tears as I tried to put on my hiking shoes one morning, because of all the blisters i had on my feet (thanks to the fact that the shoes were too new, and too tight).

Then there was my second try on the Abel Tasman about a year later, this time on the popular coastal section. Once again I got blisters from my shoes (trail runners this time), so I wore flip-flops instead (jandals, as they are mysteriously called by kiwis). In case anyone has doubts about whether or not flip-flops are ideal for hiking while wearing a heavy pack on your back, let me assure you that they are not. Also, it rained while we were on the trail. Ask me if I had any waterproof clothes.

You can probably guess the answer.

Then of course, there was the tent that we had borrowed but hadn't tested before hitting the trail. The first night we set it up, we realized it must have been bundled away still wet about, oh, a hundred years ago. It reeked of mold, to the point where we wondered if sleeping outside would really be all that bad—even though the nights were more than a little cold.

All this to say, I am not sure if I am really cut out for backpacking on Kauai. On the other hand, I bet it would make for yet another good what-not-to-do-while-hiking story to add to my ever-growing list...

Huh?

So let me get this straight.

The Associated Press recently decided internally to call a ban on publishing any news about Paris Hilton for one whole week. Nothing much happens during that week, which makes it easy not to publish anything about her. Then, when the ban is over, they write an article explaining their nefarious scheme (oh those rebels at the AP!), patting themselves on the back for an experiment that had no repercussions whatsoever, and proved aboslutely nothing about anything.

In doing so, of course, they brought even more attention to Ms Hilton by the fact that they felt the need to explain (in kind of a lot of words) why they didn't want to bring attention to her.

Wow.

Favorite quote:

There was some internal hand-wringing. Some felt we were tinkering dangerously with the news.

I would laugh about it, if I weren't just a little depressed.

What Am I, Crazy??

The other day, I called up the cowgirl.

"Hey," I said. "Want to do a half-marathon with me?"

"Sure," she said.

So we are doing the Nike Women's Half-Marathon in October. Yee-ha!

This is the same half-marathon I did a couple years ago in San Francisco, but I am hoping that I will not take the same approach to training as I did back then: an approach which consisted entirely of telling myself over and over that I really needed to start training soon—right up until the day of the event.

That didn't work so well. I ran the half-marathon in close to the same amount of time that one of my co-workers ran the Chicago full marathon. Granted, he is an experienced runner, and weighs about half of what I do. But still.

So, this year, I would like to improve my finishing time. At least a little bit.

But more than that, I just hope I don't end up eating the cowgirl's dust.