Well, I had hoped to update the frogg files while I was sitting in the doctor's office, but turns out they didn't have any wireless networks I could log onto without a password. So here I am, at home again FINALLY, after a marathon session of about six freaking hours. Thankfully, the cowgirl and a couple of friends kept me company at different times throughout the whole thing.
The experience has not stopped being totally surreal. I mean, just barely over two weeks ago I was in Thailand, and now I'm a cancer patient?! What the...???
Anyway, I'm feeling fine at the moment, apart from being pretty tired. The side effects of feeling sick don't necessarily kick in til tomorrow or even the next day, which is unsettling. Hard to plan your days when you have no idea if you'll suddenly be taken ill! Grrr.
As for the hair loss... *groan* I'll have to say goodbye to my long locks sometime next week. The nurse told me it was probably a good idea to cut it short first, so it wasn't totally traumatic when it starts falling out in big clumps. Like cutting it short isn't going to be traumatic, too! I said I wanted to wait and see; what if it DIDN'T fall out? She just nodded and smiled, and said, "OK, sure, yeah" and I knew she must have heard that about a billion times before. Oh well.
So I may be having a little haircutting party soon. But not til after my brother's wedding this weekend!
OK, feels like the drowsiness side effect from one of the many drugs I've had pumped into me today is kicking in. Naptime! Ciao for now, my lovelies...
Monday, February 16, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
And So It Goes
So tonight, on the way to church, I asked my friend who was driving if she had any gum. She handed me a pack, and as I took one, I turned to the cowgirl in the backseat and asked if she wanted a piece. "Nah," she said, "I have this thing about aspartame."
"Oh why, does it cause cancer or something?" I said, then cracked up laughing as I put the gum in my mouth.
Well, I thought it was funny.
OK, but the truth is, it's actually taken me a few days to even say "cancer" when I talk about my condition. For a while, I stuck with, "I have a lymphoma." I'm not sure why I thought that sounded any better, but for some reason, it did. To me, anyway.
Then I got tired of all the extra syllables. Hey, time is short, people.
Anyway, I think I've finally come to terms (or else I'm terribly in denial, which, knowing me, is eminently possible). At any rate, I'm ready to start my chemotherapy tomorrow morning—a phrase that was probably numero uno on the list of "Things I never thought I'd say."
The cowgirl will take me to my first session at 8:30 a.m. The treatment basically consists of me sitting in a chair for about four hours with an IV needle stuck in my arm. Fun fun!
I guess I'll have no excuse for not updating my blog tomorrow, what with all that time on my hands...
"Oh why, does it cause cancer or something?" I said, then cracked up laughing as I put the gum in my mouth.
Well, I thought it was funny.
OK, but the truth is, it's actually taken me a few days to even say "cancer" when I talk about my condition. For a while, I stuck with, "I have a lymphoma." I'm not sure why I thought that sounded any better, but for some reason, it did. To me, anyway.
Then I got tired of all the extra syllables. Hey, time is short, people.
Anyway, I think I've finally come to terms (or else I'm terribly in denial, which, knowing me, is eminently possible). At any rate, I'm ready to start my chemotherapy tomorrow morning—a phrase that was probably numero uno on the list of "Things I never thought I'd say."
The cowgirl will take me to my first session at 8:30 a.m. The treatment basically consists of me sitting in a chair for about four hours with an IV needle stuck in my arm. Fun fun!
I guess I'll have no excuse for not updating my blog tomorrow, what with all that time on my hands...
Saturday, February 14, 2009
The Continuing Saga...
Well, I went to the oncologist yesterday and I'll just say up front that the prognosis is good. I have a diffuse large cell lymphoma, non-Hodgkins, curable. Which you'd think would have my turning cartwheels, but since I've never been good at gymnastics, I just went out for margaritas last night instead.
Go with what works, kids.
But seriously, I am happy about this news, when I'm not freaked out by thinking that any minute the doctor is going to call me back and say, "Oh wait. We missed something." Then I have to admit I get a little nervous. (Or a lot nervous, as the case may be.)
I will say that I like my oncologist very much. He was very thorough yesterday in explaining every aspect of my upcoming chemotherapy treatments, including the side effects of each of the several drugs I'll have to be taking. I've heard people call this blend a "cocktail" but something tells me it's not going to be nearly as fun to take as the margaritas. Oh well.
My 1:30 appointment went on for almost an hour, and he never once made me feel like he was in a rush to get on to the next patient. Everyone at the office was nice, too. That pleased me. I like nice people.
The oncologist did tell me some sad news, though. It's pretty likely that I'm going to lose my hair. Of all the horrible things he could have told me, this one isn't so bad, but somehow it's the one thing that makes me start to cry when I think about it. I mean honestly, do you have any idea how long it's taken me to get my hair to where it is?! And now I have to start all over. It's a little bit depressing.
But perhaps good for my vanity. And the hat industry.
Anyway, he did say he'd write me a prescription for a wig, which apparently in medical terms is called (I am not kidding) a "cranial prosthesis." Is it just me, or is that a truly ridiculous name for hair? It sounds more like a prescription for an extra head. Or a replacement head for one that's been amputated! Someone needs to tell the medical community that they really suck at coming up with names for things, and they should leave that to creative people like English majors such as myself. I would have called it... hmm, let me think... uh, wait, give me a second...
Oops, time's up! Gotta go eat. Maybe you can think of something...
Go with what works, kids.
But seriously, I am happy about this news, when I'm not freaked out by thinking that any minute the doctor is going to call me back and say, "Oh wait. We missed something." Then I have to admit I get a little nervous. (Or a lot nervous, as the case may be.)
I will say that I like my oncologist very much. He was very thorough yesterday in explaining every aspect of my upcoming chemotherapy treatments, including the side effects of each of the several drugs I'll have to be taking. I've heard people call this blend a "cocktail" but something tells me it's not going to be nearly as fun to take as the margaritas. Oh well.
My 1:30 appointment went on for almost an hour, and he never once made me feel like he was in a rush to get on to the next patient. Everyone at the office was nice, too. That pleased me. I like nice people.
The oncologist did tell me some sad news, though. It's pretty likely that I'm going to lose my hair. Of all the horrible things he could have told me, this one isn't so bad, but somehow it's the one thing that makes me start to cry when I think about it. I mean honestly, do you have any idea how long it's taken me to get my hair to where it is?! And now I have to start all over. It's a little bit depressing.
But perhaps good for my vanity. And the hat industry.
Anyway, he did say he'd write me a prescription for a wig, which apparently in medical terms is called (I am not kidding) a "cranial prosthesis." Is it just me, or is that a truly ridiculous name for hair? It sounds more like a prescription for an extra head. Or a replacement head for one that's been amputated! Someone needs to tell the medical community that they really suck at coming up with names for things, and they should leave that to creative people like English majors such as myself. I would have called it... hmm, let me think... uh, wait, give me a second...
Oops, time's up! Gotta go eat. Maybe you can think of something...
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Post-Biopsy Update
Wow, that has got to be one of the least creative blog post titles I've ever come up with. Oh well!
So yeah, it's me, the frogg once again, taking over from the cowgirl who was so kind as to fill in for me the last couple of posts. I'm sure you'll hear more from her as well, but right now she is taking a nap. Being my secretary/people-buffer/chauffeur over the last few days seems to have tired her out—not to mention that the pay isn't really that great (i.e., I don't pay her).
This is just a quick update to say that I'm doing OK, mostly. Although my voice sounds like I swallowed about a dozen knives and then followed them up with some sort of corrosive, thanks to the biopsy/bronchoscopy procedure I had the other day. Good times... at least, I guess. I was asleep for it, so I wouldn't really know.
Thankfully, the docs did not confuse me with any of the (many) eye surgery patients. THAT was a big relief! Unfortunately, that relief was somewhat deflated by the words, "It does appear to be some type of lymphoma," which I heard upon awaking after the biopsy. Talk about a letdown.
On the plus side, I am suddenly extremely popular. (Er, not that I wasn't before, of course!)
ANYway...
I was discharged from the hospital last night and am now at home. Today I had a PET scan to see if there is any lymphoma anywhere else in my body. I have no idea what PET stands for. The cowgirl said it was something like Positron Blah Blah Imaging, but that doesn't make sense now that I look at it, because "Imaging" starts with an "I" and there is no "I" in PET, so clearly I was not paying any remote kind of attention at all when she was talking. Oops. And of course, I'm too lazy to Google it, so if you find out, you can tell me. What I know is, it's kind of a cool test. They led me into a cozy little room with mood lighting and a huge leather La-Z-Boy , injected a radioactive isotope into my body (they actually brought it into the room in a lead box, no joke), and then gave me a blanket and basically told me to take a nap for 45 minutes! Sweet.
The part I didn't like as much was after the 45 minutes or so was up, I had to lie on my back with my arms over my head while they put me through a CT scanner. The problem was, the incision on my neck makes putting my arms over my head a little uncomfortable, and they told me I'd have to lie like that without moving for 21 minutes! I have to admit I whined a little about that. So then they said they'd get it down to 17.5 minutes. Woo-hoo! See, sometimes it pays to complain.
I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow, at which point I should know more about the test results from both the biopsy and the PET scan, and have more definitive information about what's next. Thanks to all who have expressed their love and support over these past few days. It means more to me than I can tell you!
With kisses from the frogg princess...
So yeah, it's me, the frogg once again, taking over from the cowgirl who was so kind as to fill in for me the last couple of posts. I'm sure you'll hear more from her as well, but right now she is taking a nap. Being my secretary/people-buffer/chauffeur over the last few days seems to have tired her out—not to mention that the pay isn't really that great (i.e., I don't pay her).
This is just a quick update to say that I'm doing OK, mostly. Although my voice sounds like I swallowed about a dozen knives and then followed them up with some sort of corrosive, thanks to the biopsy/bronchoscopy procedure I had the other day. Good times... at least, I guess. I was asleep for it, so I wouldn't really know.
Thankfully, the docs did not confuse me with any of the (many) eye surgery patients. THAT was a big relief! Unfortunately, that relief was somewhat deflated by the words, "It does appear to be some type of lymphoma," which I heard upon awaking after the biopsy. Talk about a letdown.
On the plus side, I am suddenly extremely popular. (Er, not that I wasn't before, of course!)
ANYway...
I was discharged from the hospital last night and am now at home. Today I had a PET scan to see if there is any lymphoma anywhere else in my body. I have no idea what PET stands for. The cowgirl said it was something like Positron Blah Blah Imaging, but that doesn't make sense now that I look at it, because "Imaging" starts with an "I" and there is no "I" in PET, so clearly I was not paying any remote kind of attention at all when she was talking. Oops. And of course, I'm too lazy to Google it, so if you find out, you can tell me. What I know is, it's kind of a cool test. They led me into a cozy little room with mood lighting and a huge leather La-Z-Boy , injected a radioactive isotope into my body (they actually brought it into the room in a lead box, no joke), and then gave me a blanket and basically told me to take a nap for 45 minutes! Sweet.
The part I didn't like as much was after the 45 minutes or so was up, I had to lie on my back with my arms over my head while they put me through a CT scanner. The problem was, the incision on my neck makes putting my arms over my head a little uncomfortable, and they told me I'd have to lie like that without moving for 21 minutes! I have to admit I whined a little about that. So then they said they'd get it down to 17.5 minutes. Woo-hoo! See, sometimes it pays to complain.
I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow, at which point I should know more about the test results from both the biopsy and the PET scan, and have more definitive information about what's next. Thanks to all who have expressed their love and support over these past few days. It means more to me than I can tell you!
With kisses from the frogg princess...
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Adventures in Pre-Op
This is the cowgirl once again. There has been a change of events in the last few hours, and since the last post. Actually, things change so much around here it's dizzying!
Instead of a needle biopsy, Dr. Cohen, her primary doctor, decided that a mediastinoscopy would be a better avenue to diagnose this "monstrous tumor." A media...blah blah...is basically a slightly invasive procedure where they enter the chest from the top of the breastbone, making an incision about 1 inch long at the base of the neck, and taking a small piece of the tumor for pathology. The procedure is relatively simple and will not take very long. This will give them a better idea of what kind of tissue they are dealing with. She will be under general anesthesia.
So we're sitting here in the pre-op awaiting the OR to open up. Trying to keep the parental units from worrying too much. The frogg is more popular than ever! It seems the phone rings off the hook and she is always checking voicemails that are being left. I'm jealous. My phone has hardly rung! :( just kidding. She's appreciative of everyone's prayers.
[N.B. this is the frogg. Can I just say that there have been many many MANY times when my phone has barely rung in a day. In fact, I can think of at least one occasion when I decided to pay attention to how often the phone rang, and let me tell you something — three days later, it hadn't rung once! No calls, no texts, NOTHING. So, boohoo cowgirl! Cry me a river... and then kick some tumbleweeds into it or something.]
The frogg is apparently worried that she is going to have to pee while under general. What the heck?! I mean, who worries about that? Of all the things to be thinking about right now, and she's hoping that she doesn't become suddenly incontinent on the table! God love her....
P.S. Apparently the surgery of choice today is eye surgery. I have seen three patients wheeled by with gigantic patches over their eyes. I'm thinking that maybe I should put a big "X" on the frogg's neck so they don't puncture an eye!
P.P.S Oh no! The doctor just came to sweep another victim off to eye surgery. As I was writing the above P.S. we overheard the doctor speaking to another patient saying, "You've been in for eye surgery before, haven't you?" We gotta get outta here!
Instead of a needle biopsy, Dr. Cohen, her primary doctor, decided that a mediastinoscopy would be a better avenue to diagnose this "monstrous tumor." A media...blah blah...is basically a slightly invasive procedure where they enter the chest from the top of the breastbone, making an incision about 1 inch long at the base of the neck, and taking a small piece of the tumor for pathology. The procedure is relatively simple and will not take very long. This will give them a better idea of what kind of tissue they are dealing with. She will be under general anesthesia.
So we're sitting here in the pre-op awaiting the OR to open up. Trying to keep the parental units from worrying too much. The frogg is more popular than ever! It seems the phone rings off the hook and she is always checking voicemails that are being left. I'm jealous. My phone has hardly rung! :( just kidding. She's appreciative of everyone's prayers.
[N.B. this is the frogg. Can I just say that there have been many many MANY times when my phone has barely rung in a day. In fact, I can think of at least one occasion when I decided to pay attention to how often the phone rang, and let me tell you something — three days later, it hadn't rung once! No calls, no texts, NOTHING. So, boohoo cowgirl! Cry me a river... and then kick some tumbleweeds into it or something.]
The frogg is apparently worried that she is going to have to pee while under general. What the heck?! I mean, who worries about that? Of all the things to be thinking about right now, and she's hoping that she doesn't become suddenly incontinent on the table! God love her....
P.S. Apparently the surgery of choice today is eye surgery. I have seen three patients wheeled by with gigantic patches over their eyes. I'm thinking that maybe I should put a big "X" on the frogg's neck so they don't puncture an eye!
P.P.S Oh no! The doctor just came to sweep another victim off to eye surgery. As I was writing the above P.S. we overheard the doctor speaking to another patient saying, "You've been in for eye surgery before, haven't you?" We gotta get outta here!
The Frogg Files Announces a Special Guest Today
This morning we interrupt our regularly scheduled program, The Bangkok Diaries, for some breaking news in which the frogg princess hands over the reins of the blog to the cowgirl, for reasons the cowgirl will make clear shortly. But first let's have a big round of welcoming applause for the cowgirl! Yeehaw, baby!!!
Howdy all. It has been quite some time since some of you have heard from me, and some have never heard from me. Some of you may not know who I am or why they call me the cowgirl. I guess the latter is probably self-explanatory. The frogg is one of my biggest fans and supporters in my cowgirl endeavors. She has been trying to revive my zeal for blogging. So I have answered the call, under some rather strange circumstances, I must admit.
Our beloved frogg princess has met with rather unfortunate circumstances. I guess there's no real easy way to put this, but, well, uh... (everyone think Arnold...) she's got a tumor. Okay, let me explain before you start to get too freaked. She was admitted to the hospital Sunday night after experiencing major pressure in her chest and up into her head and neck. X rays and CT Scan revealed the presence of a mass/tumor in the chest between the lungs that was apparently pressing on her heart and major vessels. Since being admitted, steroids have helped to relieve much of the pressure and pain. She is much more comfortable tonight than last and can lay down fully with minimal pain.
Okay, now there are many types of tumors, none usually good, but the doctors feel rather strongly that this is a teratoma. A tera...what??? Do not be alarmed. As strange a word that this one not as bad as it seems. Well, sort of. Although teratoma comes from the classical Greek meaning "monstrous tumor" ....wait, wait, wait. This isn't sounding good, and I'm digging this hole deeper and deeper. Let me start again. [NB from frogg princess: Yes, please do!!
Here's the deal. A teratoma is a tumor made up of tissues that resemble, well, other areas of the body. WHAT??? The first time I ever heard about a teratoma was on some medical discovery TV show and this kid couldn't sleep because he apparently had this teratoma thingy in his brain and it was putting pressure on the part of the brain that regulated sleep. When they went in to remove the tumor, they discovered what looked like a perfect fetus foot! YIKES!!! It was totally weird. I mean, this kid had a FOOT in his BRAIN!!!
So, what, does the frogg have a FOOT in her chest you ask? Well, no, I don't think so. But it is kinda funny to imagine. I told her the story about the kid and she said she was going to kick me and I said, "What, with your OTHER foot?" I don't know if she really thought that was funny, but I did! My brother said it was like Alien. I have five words for you: My Big Fat Greek Wedding. If you haven't seen it, you're totally missing out. You need to watch it and all this will take on a whole new meaning.
Anyway, although nothing will be confirmed until after the biopsy scheduled later today, the doctors are relatively unalarmed. Treatment will depend on biopsy results, but the frogg's fairly likely to go under the knife this week (actually under the saw—they gotta crack the chest to get to it) so all prayers are greatly appreciated.
**Intermission, Intermission**
frogg: Whoa, what? Crack the chest?!
cowgirl: Yeah, didn't you know about that?
frogg: Wha... wha...
cowgirl: Well, not really crack it. They saw it open.
frogg: Uh!
cowgirl: Uh, do you want me to delete that part?
frogg: Gaaaaaaaaaaah!!
**Intermission ends**
I guess I'll leave it in.
Anyway. She's in great spirits—er, or at least she was—and I'll be with her here all week. I'll keep you posted on things as they happen, so just sit deep in them saddles and cinch yer hats down tight.
Oh yeah, we named the little guy. His official name is ILB: Inconvenient Little Bastard. I think the name speaks for itself and needs no more explanation. Stay tuned as the saga of the ILB continues...
Howdy all. It has been quite some time since some of you have heard from me, and some have never heard from me. Some of you may not know who I am or why they call me the cowgirl. I guess the latter is probably self-explanatory. The frogg is one of my biggest fans and supporters in my cowgirl endeavors. She has been trying to revive my zeal for blogging. So I have answered the call, under some rather strange circumstances, I must admit.
Our beloved frogg princess has met with rather unfortunate circumstances. I guess there's no real easy way to put this, but, well, uh... (everyone think Arnold...) she's got a tumor. Okay, let me explain before you start to get too freaked. She was admitted to the hospital Sunday night after experiencing major pressure in her chest and up into her head and neck. X rays and CT Scan revealed the presence of a mass/tumor in the chest between the lungs that was apparently pressing on her heart and major vessels. Since being admitted, steroids have helped to relieve much of the pressure and pain. She is much more comfortable tonight than last and can lay down fully with minimal pain.
Okay, now there are many types of tumors, none usually good, but the doctors feel rather strongly that this is a teratoma. A tera...what??? Do not be alarmed. As strange a word that this one not as bad as it seems. Well, sort of. Although teratoma comes from the classical Greek meaning "monstrous tumor" ....wait, wait, wait. This isn't sounding good, and I'm digging this hole deeper and deeper. Let me start again. [NB from frogg princess: Yes, please do!!
Here's the deal. A teratoma is a tumor made up of tissues that resemble, well, other areas of the body. WHAT??? The first time I ever heard about a teratoma was on some medical discovery TV show and this kid couldn't sleep because he apparently had this teratoma thingy in his brain and it was putting pressure on the part of the brain that regulated sleep. When they went in to remove the tumor, they discovered what looked like a perfect fetus foot! YIKES!!! It was totally weird. I mean, this kid had a FOOT in his BRAIN!!!
So, what, does the frogg have a FOOT in her chest you ask? Well, no, I don't think so. But it is kinda funny to imagine. I told her the story about the kid and she said she was going to kick me and I said, "What, with your OTHER foot?" I don't know if she really thought that was funny, but I did! My brother said it was like Alien. I have five words for you: My Big Fat Greek Wedding. If you haven't seen it, you're totally missing out. You need to watch it and all this will take on a whole new meaning.
Anyway, although nothing will be confirmed until after the biopsy scheduled later today, the doctors are relatively unalarmed. Treatment will depend on biopsy results, but the frogg's fairly likely to go under the knife this week (actually under the saw—they gotta crack the chest to get to it) so all prayers are greatly appreciated.
**Intermission, Intermission**
frogg: Whoa, what? Crack the chest?!
cowgirl: Yeah, didn't you know about that?
frogg: Wha... wha...
cowgirl: Well, not really crack it. They saw it open.
frogg: Uh!
cowgirl: Uh, do you want me to delete that part?
frogg: Gaaaaaaaaaaah!!
**Intermission ends**
I guess I'll leave it in.
Anyway. She's in great spirits—er, or at least she was—and I'll be with her here all week. I'll keep you posted on things as they happen, so just sit deep in them saddles and cinch yer hats down tight.
Oh yeah, we named the little guy. His official name is ILB: Inconvenient Little Bastard. I think the name speaks for itself and needs no more explanation. Stay tuned as the saga of the ILB continues...
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Bangkok Diaries: Another View
I'm not feeling well tonight, so I thought that, instead of writing an update, I'd direct your attention to the blog of one of my Thailand teammates, Kelsey. She's done a fantastic job of summing up a lot of the stuff we did and saw.
Oh, and by the way, she's better at picture-taking. Like, way, way better.
I hope you'll go over and check out her blog, Along for the Ride. Let her know the frogg sent you. And see if you can find me in some of the pics!
More later...
Oh, and by the way, she's better at picture-taking. Like, way, way better.
I hope you'll go over and check out her blog, Along for the Ride. Let her know the frogg sent you. And see if you can find me in some of the pics!
More later...
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