The Frogg Files Announces a Special Guest Today

This morning we interrupt our regularly scheduled program, The Bangkok Diaries, for some breaking news in which the frogg princess hands over the reins of the blog to the cowgirl, for reasons the cowgirl will make clear shortly. But first let's have a big round of welcoming applause for the cowgirl! Yeehaw, baby!!!

Howdy all. It has been quite some time since some of you have heard from me, and some have never heard from me. Some of you may not know who I am or why they call me the cowgirl. I guess the latter is probably self-explanatory. The frogg is one of my biggest fans and supporters in my cowgirl endeavors. She has been trying to revive my zeal for blogging. So I have answered the call, under some rather strange circumstances, I must admit.

Our beloved frogg princess has met with rather unfortunate circumstances. I guess there's no real easy way to put this, but, well, uh... (everyone think Arnold...) she's got a tumor. Okay, let me explain before you start to get too freaked. She was admitted to the hospital Sunday night after experiencing major pressure in her chest and up into her head and neck. X rays and CT Scan revealed the presence of a mass/tumor in the chest between the lungs that was apparently pressing on her heart and major vessels. Since being admitted, steroids have helped to relieve much of the pressure and pain. She is much more comfortable tonight than last and can lay down fully with minimal pain.

Okay, now there are many types of tumors, none usually good, but the doctors feel rather strongly that this is a teratoma. A tera...what??? Do not be alarmed. As strange a word that this one not as bad as it seems. Well, sort of. Although teratoma comes from the classical Greek meaning "monstrous tumor" ....wait, wait, wait. This isn't sounding good, and I'm digging this hole deeper and deeper. Let me start again. [NB from frogg princess: Yes, please do!!

Here's the deal. A teratoma is a tumor made up of tissues that resemble, well, other areas of the body. WHAT??? The first time I ever heard about a teratoma was on some medical discovery TV show and this kid couldn't sleep because he apparently had this teratoma thingy in his brain and it was putting pressure on the part of the brain that regulated sleep. When they went in to remove the tumor, they discovered what looked like a perfect fetus foot! YIKES!!! It was totally weird. I mean, this kid had a FOOT in his BRAIN!!!

So, what, does the frogg have a FOOT in her chest you ask? Well, no, I don't think so. But it is kinda funny to imagine. I told her the story about the kid and she said she was going to kick me and I said, "What, with your OTHER foot?" I don't know if she really thought that was funny, but I did! My brother said it was like Alien. I have five words for you: My Big Fat Greek Wedding. If you haven't seen it, you're totally missing out. You need to watch it and all this will take on a whole new meaning.

Anyway, although nothing will be confirmed until after the biopsy scheduled later today, the doctors are relatively unalarmed. Treatment will depend on biopsy results, but the frogg's fairly likely to go under the knife this week (actually under the saw—they gotta crack the chest to get to it) so all prayers are greatly appreciated.

**Intermission, Intermission**

frogg: Whoa, what? Crack the chest?!

cowgirl: Yeah, didn't you know about that?

frogg: Wha... wha...

cowgirl: Well, not really crack it. They saw it open.

frogg: Uh!

cowgirl: Uh, do you want me to delete that part?

frogg: Gaaaaaaaaaaah!!

**Intermission ends**

I guess I'll leave it in.

Anyway. She's in great spirits—er, or at least she was—and I'll be with her here all week. I'll keep you posted on things as they happen, so just sit deep in them saddles and cinch yer hats down tight.

Oh yeah, we named the little guy. His official name is ILB: Inconvenient Little Bastard. I think the name speaks for itself and needs no more explanation. Stay tuned as the saga of the ILB continues...