The Second Day of Christmas

On the eleventh day before Christmas, I woke up refreshed and happy, sure that I had merely dreamed the terrible events of the day before. My true love couldn’t possibly have brought me a bird as a gift, especially one that reminded me of Leo, the demon cockatiel. No, it must have been nothing more than a nightmare.

“Ha ha,” I thought to myself. “I really should lay off the bourbon before bedtime!”

Then I went downstairs and saw the pear tree and its Resident Evil by the fireplace.

“This is going to be a very long day,” I thought.

As if in answer to my unspoken remark, the creature started trilling and shrieking at the top of its voice. Who would have thought the old bird would have so much volume in him? I closed my eyes and groaned. Just then the doorbell rang.

“Shut up!” I yelled at the partridge, which ignored me. I went to the door, opened it, and saw…

No one!

How strange. But there at my feet was a little box with a bow on it. I picked it up. Tucked into the lid was a card. I pulled it out and opened it.

My dear frog princess,

I’m afraid I can’t stay
Business calls me away.
But in the meantime it’s true
I got this present for you!
And I hope that you’ll have a great day.

Love,
Your true love

“I hope he got the hint about the jewelry,” I thought as I untied the bow. But alas, no sparkling gems were inside—just a pair of soft, black mittens. With a repeating pattern of green and yellow tortoises embroidered on them.

I stared at this strange gift, wondering. Had my true love gone insane? What on earth did he mean by buying me a pair of turtle gloves? There was a mystery here, and I was going to get to the bottom of it…