So you know how people talk about gaining the "Freshman Fifteen" when you go off to college? Well, I've had occasion to observe another weight-gain phenomenon, to which I, being the public-service-minded pontiff that I am (deep down inside where no one can see), desire now to draw your attention.
I call this phenomenon "The Month of December."
Catchy name, huh?
Unlike The Freshman Fifteen, The Month of December is unavoidable, unless of course you've figured out the secrets of time travel, and if you have I don't even want to hear it. The point is, there is absolutely nothing we can do—all the fitness magazine articles to the contrary—to avoid the weight that piles on during the holiday season. It's like magic. December 1st rolls around, the body goes, "Oh, it's December!" and presto! Your favorite jeans are tighter, and you are five pounds heavier! Just like that! Without even trying!!
It really is a hopeless time of year in some ways. You want to eat healthy, but every time you turn around, someone is putting food in your face. Cookies, candy, chocolate—whatever it is, there is no escape. Even if you don't actually eat it, you are breathing air weighted down with all the high-calorie emissions that surround these rich foods. Breathing has never been so bad for you, believe me.
"What about exercise?" I can hear you ask. To which I politely respond, "Hahahaha." Which is about all the exercise I'll do this season—and you too, I'll bet.
So my scientific conclusion is that there is no way to prevent the weight gain. However, I believe you can at least minimize it somewhat. Here are a few ideas that should help...
...Ok, I lied. I have no ideas. There is nothing to be done. Just accept it and pray for January to come quick, when you can start your New Year's Resolution gym membership.
Hahaha.
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5 comments:
So true so true!!
I was just observing this december phenomena the other day and wondering what could be done for it. ;) The worst part is that all of the food and treats that are being offered are not just food and treats but love and kindness of those offering; and it really does become a tricky thing to say no.
The love food does ya in! If it was the fruitcake from some unheard of relative, it could be passed up, but if it's the chocolate covered peanut butter balls by dear Grandma, there's no such thing as saying "no!"
Also, I like that you differentiated "chocolate" from "candy." :)
Oh, and I must update my comment to say, that maybe the bigger pair of jeans is okay as long as they flatter.
Had someone today, just hours ago, try and convince me that I'm losing weight, even when I tried to tell her that indeed I have the holiday food upon me ;) because I looked thinner to her this morning than I have before.
Gotta love that. ;)
The best are those magazine/web guides on how not to gain weight over Christmas...I'm not even in the Sisterhood of the Bigger Jeans this year, but I still clicked on one of these links out of interest...'eat less! drink less!' was the basic advice. Very helpful.
I say...embrace the poundage! While I'm a fan of being healthy, I refuse to stress myself out by some arbitrary number on my scale. Enjoy the holidays, they are stressful enough without adding to it with silliness about expectations of slenderness. I'd rather have a little extra and enjoy every bite without stressing about it coming back to haunt me. I'd cross that bridge when I have the time and energy to devote to it...probably sometime in March. :)
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