I have a strange relationship with the City of Angels. Born and bred here, I still know less about it that lots of people who come here from other places. I have never been one for the "scene"; in fact, I'm not entirely sure what the "scene" is, but if it involves going out to clubs in hopes of getting hit on by drunk, not-so-up-and-coming screenwriters with sleazy grins and over-developed senses of self-importance, not to mention spending the bulk of weekend nights just looking for parking on Sunset or Hollywood or wherever to avoid paying $10 or much more in a lot, so you can go to said club and get hit on by said guys, I can't say I'm particularly interested.
You can take for granted that anyone who says they are a writer in LA means they are a screenwriter. If you threw a rock in the store where I work, you would: a) probably break a few computers, but b) knock out a screenwriter or two. A big difference from the Bay Area, where everyone writes novels and short stories and obscure poetry about their inner children, or maybe the ghosts of those children, who sit in some lonely corner of the forgotten soul crying out with keening voices about being devoured by the black hole that is the universe. San Franciscans are progressive, you see, where Angelenos are progressing...it's just no one knows quite where they are progressing to. Which can be a little awkward, as you can imagine.
I admit I've considered screenwriting, if only out of a sense of curiosity. I like to write dialogue. How about this for a movie scene?
Boy: Hi there. My name is Joe.
Girl: Joe! No one's named Joe anymore, especially in the movies.
Boy [disconcerted]: Oh really? I had no idea! What should my name be then?
Girl: I don't know. But maybe we should kiss now. After all, a few minutes have gone by.
Boy: Well, alright. [Starts to lean in]
Girl [stopping him]: Wait! You have to say something romantic first.
Boy: Oh, of course. Sorry. [Thinks] You're pretty.
Girl: That's good enough. [They kiss]
Boy: Oh by the way, what's your name?
Girl: Why, I...don't know!
Boy: Oh well. Let's kiss again. [They do]
Boy: Now what?
Girl: Well, there's still a while til the movie ends. Why don't we hijack a car, rob a bank, and blow up a building or two? I'm sure the resulting chase scenes will be a good adrenaline rush for audiences, and we won't have to talk alot. Then we can have sex too. I'm sure by then we'll know each other's names and it won't seem quite so awkward.
Boy: That sounds cool! I like shooting things. Can I have a gun?
Girl: Sure. Let's go shopping. I want a shorter miniskirt.
[Exeunt]
Ok, so it needs a little work. I won't be quitting my day job or anything.
6 comments:
I think I already saw that movie!
drat! there goes my not-so-up-and-coming new career...
:)
It does sound a bit natural born killers-esque. But, I'm not sure they had even as much as you do there. And I like your style, tell it like it is... :)
I tried the city scene in SF last friday and it was sort of strange. I think going to clubs is almost an artform in itself, knowing who to avoid, who to talk to, who to bring with, it's all very important. I am usually not a fan of having a night out that involves more effort than it's worth for an awkward time of avoidance and half-truths. ;) But it was rather cool when the bouncer at this club let us in for cheap because we were a gaggle of cute girls. Sweet!
Okay, first of all your format is way off. It needs to be courier 12 pt. font, actions don't belong in parentheticals, and names are centered and above the dialogue. And secondly...um...er....it could totally work for a Michael Bay movie!!!
can you say 'jaded'?
;-)
only too well, unfortunately. ;)
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