Confessions of a Tailgater

Hello, my name is grackyfrogg, and I... am a tailgater.

Wait, that word looks funny. Is that spelled right? Hmm. Tailgator? Oh whatever.

The POINT is, I drive too close to other cars. I admit it. I'm okay with it. I have really good reflexes. Honest! My passengers, however, are a little less okay with it, from what I've noticed. (Maybe that's why I rarely have passengers whenever I go anywhere. Hmmm.)

But I blame my problem on bumper stickers. Other people's, of course, not mine. Because when I see a bumper sticker, I very badly want to know what it says. I'm nosy. I admit that too (but that's for another "Confession" post).

Bumper stickers intrigue me. Especially when someone has lots of them on their car. It seems to me that the people who have the most bumper stickers are people who are trying to disguise the fact that they have a car at all, because they are probably against them on environmental principles. You can tell because of their bumper stickers, which say things like, "Save the Whales," "My other car is a bicycle," "Love gardens, hate Bushes" or "Green and mean." (Just kidding about those last two. I made them up. But they COULD be bumper stickers, couldn't they?)

The other day, though, I saw a bumper sticker that really made me think. It said, "Jesus is the answer." And what I thought was, doesn't that really depend on the question you're asking? I mean, surely there are some questions to which Jesus is definitely NOT the answer. Like, what if there was a guy driving to work one day, and he was racking his brains trying to figure out who his wife was cheating on him with (because he knew she was cheating on him), and then he sees in big block letters on the back of a speeding SUV, "Jesus is the answer." I bet that would shake him up a bit. Ha!

But another thing I like to look at on cars are license plates. Because there are lots of out-of-state plates in Los Angeles. So far I've seen most of the 48 continental states, including Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Massachussetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nevada, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, Washington, and Wyoming.

I get really bored on the way to and from work. Can you tell?